Anyone can be a father
by Solanacea
Summary: Max and Logan happily together at last? Or will fate interfere yet again? Read to find out. I'm just saying this much: This is dedicated to all the ML shippers out there! I'm back again with this story. I hope you're still with me! New Chapter!
1. I'm fine

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately I don't own them. But I surely want them to be happy!

**A/N: **The inspiration for this Max/Logan fic hit me yesterday and I couldn't stop writing since.

I know this is all fluffyand cheesy (see title!!!) and about everything in it has been explored by other 

writers at length, but still I had to let it out. Anyway, this is for all the hopeless M/L shippers out there! So grab 

your Kleenex and dream away…

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**'Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy!'**

**                                    ***Chapter 1*****

Asha looked at Max in concern: "Are you okay? You look a little pale."

Max shrugged off the comment and threw a wary glance at Logan who was approaching them with a glass of hot milk. He was shuffling his feet over the floor holding the drink in one hand, steadying himself with the cane in the other. 

Ever since the exo broke and there had been no way of repairing it he had been in and out of the chair on and off. They had contacted the guy who had been able to help them with the virus some months ago. He had done a load of experiments and analyses in order to find a way of disguising Max' stem cells so that they wouldn't be rejected by Logan's immune system. The problem was to make sure they still did their job regenerating the nerves in Logan's spine. It had been a few strenuous and painful weeks for both of them-physically as well as emotionally as the relentless testing, blood-drawing and ever so often shattered hopes were nagging at their nerves. It finally seemed to have worked and Logan was able to walk shorter distances with the help of a cane. So hopes were up again a little but it was still nothing compared to the miracle the very first transfusion had done.

Max took the glass of milk from Logan and thanked him.

"Oh, I forgot about the honey! You wanted honey, right?" he noticed.

Max grabbed his hand an pulled him closer. "It's okay. Sit down. I'll get it myself."

Max could see how exhausted he was from the short walk to the kitchen and she knew from the tension on his face that it still had to be quite painful. But Logan's pride won once again. Being only around Max he had eased up a little, but with Asha sitting there he still had to pretend to be strong. 

"No, no problem. I'll get it for you. You said you didn't feel well." With that he drew his hand from Max' and headed back to the kitchen.

Asha had watched the scene in silence. Now she watched Max take a tiny sip of the hot drink and draw a face in disgust.

"What's wrong with you Max?" she asked again. "This is just not your normal self!"

Max cupped her hands around the warm glass and stared into space.

"I did one of those …tests…this morning."

Asha raised her eyebrows. "What test?" 

Max pushed the milk away almost tipping the glass over.

"I'm pregnant." She said in a toneless voice.

Asha's features fell for a second. It still hurt to have lost Logan to Max, although she knew she could never really have had him-even if Max had never returned. Still, Max being pregnant somehow made things a lot more final. She forced a smile back on her face.

"Wow. Congratulations Max! That's wonderful!"

Max looked up at her. "I'm not sure."

"What do you mean? You're thinking about not having the child?"

Max shook her head slowly. "No. I want this baby. But it's just such a bad timing. I mean we are still trying to figure out that stem cell thing…and Logan…I don't know how he'll react to it right now." 

She sighed, tears forming in her eyes. Damn, she had been so emotional for the past couple of days!

Asha suddenly felt compassion for Max and the screwed up situation she was in.

"Look, I know Logan loves you more than his life. He may be having a hard time, but I'm sure he'll be glad to have a baby with you. Taking care of a child can be hard work but you can also draw so much strength from it…What will keep him going more than his own child!?" she added.

Max looked at Asha in surprise. It was like she had read her mind and had responded to all her worries. Maybe she had underestimated her all this time. She let the words sink in and a small smile crept to her face. Maybe Asha was right. Sharing the responsibility for a child would keep Logan ---would keep both of them going.

"Yeah, probably." she mumbled. "I just don't know how to tell him!"

"Tell him what?" Logan asked, setting down the honey-jar on the table.

Max jumped in her seat, startled. "Gosh, you scared me!!"

"Sorry. You seem to be a little tense." He said with a sly smile. "So what is it you want to tell me?" he insisted.

Asha stood up mumbling some lame excuse about having to do the laundry and turned to leave.

"I'll give you a call later!" she shouted back over her shoulder while she hectically left the room.

Logan frowned, his gaze wandering back and forth between Max and Asha.

When Max heard the front door close behind Asha, she motioned for Logan to take a seat. This time he didn't argue.

"So I hope it's good news for a change." He said uncomfortably.

Max stared down at her freshly polished nails. OC had done a real great job!

"Max, come on!" she heard Logan's voice in the distance. Well, this was the right moment. She had to tell him anyway, now or later. She could just as  well get it over with right now. It didn't make a difference.

"I'm pregnant." She dropped the bomb.

Logan's jaw dropped open. "You…you're sure?" He couldn't quite believe he had heard her right.

"I did a test this morning." Max  nodded avoiding his gaze-or rather stare. He still didn't seem to get it.

"But that's impossible…I mean…" he trailed off.

Logan awkwardly stood up and started pacing the room-or what came close to it. Max couldn't help but feel disappointed at his reaction. She had known it wouldn't be easy, but she couldn't even tell whether he liked or hated what she had told him. His reaction was just so indifferent.

"You knew I didn't take birth control pills." She said matter-of-factly.

Logan stopped moving and looked at her with a mixture of anger and confusion.

"Yeah, but I didn't…I mean I didn't know…that I still…you know." 

He ran his hands trough his hair and started pacing again.

"Just because you don't feel it doesn't mean you can't…do it" Max shot at him. "Don't tell me you never talked with Sam about that!" she threw him a reproachful look.

"Of course I did Max! …It's just…I didn't think…"

He stopped as his legs began to shake. He grabbed his cane tight and shoved his body over to the couch. He tried to calm his trembling legs with his hands but to no avail. He clenched his teeth and clutched his rebelling muscles.

"Look at me!!!" he shouted furiously, his voice trembling like his legs. "How can I be a father?"

Max moved to sit beside him and put a hand on his which was still clutching his leg.

"You 'll be a wonderful father Logan. I know you are having a hard time and this comes totally unexpected. But nature has made a decision. And remember what you said your mom told you?! 'The universe is right on schedule', right?"

 She cupped his face in her hands and forced him to look at her.

"I know we can make it together. We've been through so much already that this is going to be a piece of cake." She tried to sound sincere but the words didn't come out very convincingly.

"Don't tell me you're not scared" Logan said, looking into her eyes.

"Of course I am" Max admitted. "But we are in this together and I know that I have you to rely on –and we'll have a beautiful, wonderful, perfect little baby." Her eyes shone with at the thought of holding their child.

Logan eventually forced a little smile on his face and kissed her longingly, willing all the anger and frustration to go away with that single kiss. He finally released his grip and sighed. 

"I'm sure we'll have a beautiful baby Max." he finally said hugging her tightly.

Later that night Max was in the bathroom staring at her reflection in the mirror. Boy, she looked pale! Thank God the nausea was gone! But she could be sure it would be back in the morning. She brushed her teeth and went into the bedroom. Logan was already in bed curled up under the blankets. Max slid in, beside him , spooning her body around his from behind. She chuckled.  
"A few months from now I won't be able to do that anymore. I will have a Big belly then!"

Logan reached out for her hand and rested it on his stomach, so that she was hugging him tight.

She could feel his body trembling slightly. Worried she slid her hand down to his legs. They were still trembling with tiny spasms.

"Logan, what's going on?" she asked concerned.

There was a long pause until Logan eventually responded to her question.

"I'm loosing it again…" came his muffled voice. "The feeling in my toes is gone already."

Max felt an iron grip around her heart. Not again. Please, not again! she thought. She wrapped her own legs around Logan's hoping to calm the spasms down. Her hand began stroking his chest.

She placed a soft kiss in the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered. "But we will keep on trying. We'll find a way!"

"No Max." His voice was firm. "You're pregnant! And I don't want anyone messing around with your body with that child growing inside of you. You need all your strength for the child and yourself."

"But Logan…"

"End of discussion, Max! I don't want to be responsible if anything goes wrong. I could never forgive myself. I was asking too much of you anyway. I'd rather be stuck in that chair again than putting you through this testing and stuff any longer.  You need your rest now. I don't want them to treat you like a lab rat anymore…It was selfish enough , to ask you in the first place!" His voice made it clear that there was no use to argue.

A wave of love and pain washed over Max and she hugged Logan even tighter.

"I love you Logan. You're gonna be a wonderful daddy." She felt him squeeze her hand as she drifted into a deep exhausted sleep. 

TBC…

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_PS: I wrote this quite some time ago always intending to finish the whole story before I post it-but somehow my muse left me along the way. So I guess I could use some encouraging reviews to help me find it again. _

_So please everybody who reads this and can think of anything they want to tell me-good or bad; please drop me a line! Suggestions, comments, anything._


	2. In the middle of the night

Disclaimer: same as always

A/N: First, I'd like to dedicate this especially to my boo Barbara, who spent endless hours with me in chat while we were working on our story New Horizons. I hope we'll be able to continue with it soon. And thanks for doing the posting and stuff while I'm busy!

Second: to all of you reviewers: Thanks everybody for the encouraging reviews. And yes: I've found my muse again. In fact this chapter wasn't there as it is now, before. Thanks for inspiring me.

agmgdafan, Superblonde, Mackenzie, Brin, heather, akischo: Thanks for dropping me a line.

idlehands, Guevera, jadeangel, Quarkz: I thought so too; it sucks that there are hardly any M/L stories left on ff.net. So how about we change that?!!

Rajana: I've always adored your stories and it was great to hear that you liked it. I think you may be right about Max telling Asha before Logan-just keep reading to find out. As for the burden I put upon them. I'm not gonna let them off the hook to soon, but I'm one for a happy ending ;-)

E5: Thanks for your ideas- I already had included some of them, actually. P.S.: as far as I know "shipper" comes from relationship-so a M/L shipper is someone who is pro a Max/Logan relationship. Am I right guys??

Original D: Love your story, so I'm glad to know you liked mine. When are you going to post the next chapter?

Anyway, stay with me guys, here's the next chapter!

 PS: Please excuse my spelling and grammar flaws -these chapters are un-betaed. If it gets too bad let me know and I'll seek out someone to beta my story. 

**Chapter 2 –In the middle of the night**

Max woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of laboured breathing. She turned around to face Logan. He was lying flat on his stomach, his face pressed into the pillow, cupped in his hands. His whole body seemed to be tense.  She reached out her hand and stroked his back.

"What's wrong, honey?" she asked concerned.

" Nothing" he murmured into the pillow.

" Sure don't look like nothing." Max insisted.

"Go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you up." He pressed the words out between gasps for air.

"You think I can sleep worrying about you?" Max asked. "What's going on?"

Logan sighed and turned his head towards her. "I can't sleep. Those spasms are keeping me awake. They won't calm down. It's driving me mad. . I feel like I'm so out of control." He shifted his position a little. "Lying on my stomach it's as bearable as it can get. Stops my f****** legs from flitting around." Frustration and exhaustion filled his voice.

Max moved closer and flung her leg over his legs. She could feel the constant waves of contractions, even through the blanket. Not knowing what to do, she started rubbing his back.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

Logan buried his head in his hands again. "I don't know Max. It's hurting, itching, …tickling and burning-all at the same time! It' s just a disgusting feeling. …Kind of hard to describe." 

"Can I do something to make it better?" Max asked helplessly.

"I don't know. I…I just want some sleep. That's all…." he trailed off exhausted.

"Maybe we can get some medication from Sam tomorrow. Or should we call him right away?" Max suggested still stroking his back.

"No." he gasped. "It's okay. I can wait another few hours…I think. Just leave your leg where it is, okay? Feels like I have a little more control then." He turned his face towards her again his eyes silently begging her to do something, but at the same time he knew, there was nothing much she could do right now.

Max sat up and crawled under the blanket  to sprawling out on top of him, her legs lining up with his, her head resting on his back. She closed the covers around them and felt Logan relax a little.

"How's this?" she asked. "Any better? Or am I too heavy?"

"No, you're fine." He said. "Feels… a lot better…. Can you just stay like that for a while?" he asked feebly. 

Max nodded invisible to him and placed a kiss on his shoulder..

"Just try to get some sleep" She whispered, caressing his neck .His breath was becoming more and more even and she could feel his tension ease a little. If it did him some good, she would keep lying like that forever.

Logan woke again at 4 o'clock in the morning. He groaned slightly and checked his watch in the semi-darkness. 'Great!' He had just slept for about  two hours. His dreams had been filled with the worst things that he could even imagine. Max kidnapped, the baby gone, with chaos all around him and on top of it, he had not been able to do anything. He had been trapped, trapped in his own body, his limbs feeling like lead, with him unable to control them. A sick feeling to his stomach echoed the desperation he had felt in his nightmare. He lay still, trying to concentrate on something good, something comforting to make the feeling go away. However, it just did not seem to work. To make things even worse, the spasms in his legs had come back and after a while, he found it impossible to ignore them and lie still anymore. 

Carefully, not to disturb Max, who was sleeping soundly beside him, he shoved his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting there for a while to get his bearing. Then he reached out for his cane and carefully stood up. Relieved that it seemed to work, he slowly made his way into the bathroom, despite of the trembling in his legs. 'Ignore it, okay, just ignore it,' he told himself as crossed the room. 'You are not going to fail me now! ' he urged his legs silently. In the bathroom he closed the door and switched on the light, thankful for the feeling of control that was coming back with each of the everyday things he saw lying around in the bathroom. There was his bathrobe, that Max was now used to wear, there were her clothes scattered around the floor. He turned around to see the strawberry shampoo that she used. He picked it up and inhaled the fruity scent. Everything was okay. Everything was fine, he told himself. He sat down on the edge of the bathtub and tried to collect his thoughts. The previous night came flowing back to his mind. Max was pregnant. And he was the father. …That was what did it for him. HE was the father? But how... ? His gaze wandered over to the small bag beside the sink, which contained the catheters, antiseptic and everything else he had needed after the shooting. Well, he hadn't needed it a lot during the last few weeks…. 'Logan, there's another issue we need to discuss. About sexual function…' Sam's words ran through his mind. Then Bling's words after the first transfusion : 'The gun is loaded….' Logan smirked. He tried to recall the past couple of weeks. There had been a transfusion about three weeks ago, and then another one before that, approximately six weeks ago. He had started to have some feeling in his legs a few days after that, and then , slowly, day after day, the muscle power had returned…could it have been then that Max had received the child?

He shook his head. He had never considered that an option for him after the shooting. He sighed and got up, to stand in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection. He looked like shit. He had dark circles under his eyes and it was clearly visible that he'd lost a lot of weight. Ever since the transfusions started, he had seemed to lose pound by pound no matter how much he ate. But then he hadn't been very hungry anyway. The constant on and off, in and out of the chair, the never-ending fight to stay on his feet, only to lose it over and over again over the past months had pretty much wrecked him. Sam had warned him all along, not to mess with his health like that, but the temptation was just too big. He couldn't let the chance that seemed to offer itself slip away. And Max had been supportive all the way. But now Logan realised that they had come too far. He had to stop this, if not for his then for Max's sake. He sighed and splashed some cold water into his face, then left the bathroom and went to the kitchen. He brewed some coffee and moved over to the window, staring out into the nearing dawn. He was going to be a father. And he was going to be back in the chair. This time for good. He watched a few birds fly by, melting into the darkness as fast as they had appeared. Where was this leading for them. Were they going to be a happy family or would fate just go and destroy it all like it had so many times before? It seemed like someone or something didn't want them to lead a happy life. Why should it work out this time?

Logan tore his gaze from the window and walked to his office. He could as well get some work done. Asha had asked him to find out about a ring of fur traders who smuggled rare animals from all over Asia into the US to sell them on the black market. People seemed to be returning to the old fashioned status symbols like fur coats and crocodile leather bags, when sometimes there wasn't even enough to eat. This was just crazy. It was all about pretending everything was fine, when the depression was bigger than ever. Logan shook his head to himself, as he hacked into the shipping and fright compartments of the companies that Asha had mentioned the night before. He worked for more than one and a half hours , finishing another two cups of coffee, until he had gathered enough information  for S1W to take over the job from here. He copied everything on disk, then shut down the computer and walked over to the living room, dropping his mug on the kitchen counter on his way. He plopped down on the couch stretching out his aching bones, before he picked up the phone and dialled Asha's number. Remembering he had gotten up that early, he quickly checked his watch before he heard the first tone. Good, it was 6.15, Asha should be up by now. He knew that she was used to get up early, to get some work for S1W done before she went to work at the community centre downtown. She had taken up this job because she had needed the money and she could help underprivileged teenagers at the same time.

"Hello?" came her voice through the line.

"Hi Asha. This is Logan."

"Oh hi Logan. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, sure I…sorry, did I wake you up? I thought you'd be up by now."

"I've been up for an hour. I just didn't expect you to call me this early."

"I've been doing some research on what you asked me for. I got all the information you need on disk."

"Wow. That was quick. Must have been working all night."

"I couldn't sleep very well."

"So did Max talk to you?"

"Yes, she did. She told you, didn't she?"

"Yes."

Logan grew quiet. Asha and Max had never been best friends. Why would she tell Asha about the baby before she told him?

"Logan?"

"Yes. I was just wandering why she would tell you about this before she told me."

Asha sighed. "Maybe she needed to talk to someone a little more ..distant, who is not as emotionally involved-to sort things out, you know."

"Maybe."

"Logan, are you okay?"

"Sure."

"You seem a little off."

"I am as a matter of fact!"

"What are you gonna do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, there'll be a lot of changes. A lot of responsibility."

"I know. "

"If you need any help or just need to talk, give me a call, okay?!"

"Okay. Thank you Asha."

"Anytime. So when can I drop by to pick up the information?"

Logan thought about that for a second. Then he suddenly knew what he had to do.

"I'll send it to you via express. I have some things to do. I think I'll be out all weekend. If you need any more information call me Monday "

"Okay. Thanks. Say hello to Max for me."

"I will."

"And take care." Asha said sincerely. 

"Bye." Logan ended the call. He knew what he had to do. And he didn't know how much time was left.


	3. I need you to be happy

Disclaimer: all the same

A/N: 

Idlehands, Mackenzie, Suzanne, Kingfisher Feline, lizzzzie: Glad you enjoyed my story! Stay with me for more to come!

Superblonde: Thanks for your thoughts! You're in fact not the only one, wondering why Max told Asha first! Logan did so too! ;-) And yes, you'd like to smack him now and then, but it really wouldn't be him if he didn't have his occasional moments of self-pity and depression, right?! Nevertheless, I think I am going to let him make some progression as we move along. Oh, and please let me know whatever bothers you. Sometimes constructive criticism can be more helpful than any positive review!

E5: I hope that story you were talking about will find its way out of your brain and into ff.net sometime soon! Just give it a try!

OD: Hope you like this one, too. Hey, and what about your story? When can we expect the next chapter?

Anette: I'm not telling if there's going to be a cure, yet. Guess you'll just have to read on. However, I promise the other characters, including Alec will still appear in the story. Just give the two lovebirds some time of their own, 'kay? (I'm not gonna go into the transgenic stuff too much though)

Well, I hope I didn't miss anyone. Thanks to all of my readers! So now it's time to enjoy the next chapter.

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Chapter 3- I need you to be happy 

When Max woke again in the morning, she was lying on her side on the other side of the bed. She remembered what had happened during the night and started looking around for Logan. When she couldn't see him in the bedroom she quickly got up and checked out the bathroom. It was empty. She tiptoed over the cold floor towards the kitchen. She was relieved to see Logan standing at the counter, preparing breakfast. Everything seemed to be fine. She walked up to him and put her arms around him from behind.

"Good morning. How do you feel? Did you get some sleep?" she asked.

Logan turned around to kiss her. "Yeah, at least for a couple of hours. Thank you." He smiled at her.

Max looked down at his legs. He was still clad in his boxers and the T-shirt he had slept in. His feet were bare just like hers. She smiled sadly. He had insisted in going bare feet ever since the feeling had come back.

"Spasms calmed down?" Max asked.

 "Finally!" Logan said relieved. "I thought I was going crazy."

"Did you talk to the Sam yet?"

"No. And I'm not going to do so Max." he said determined.

Max frowned. "Why not? I'm sure he can give you something for those..."

Logan nodded "He sure can. But any muscle relaxant or sorts of will also take away any muscle strength that's left." He sighed. "I want to use my legs as long as I can Max! This is probably the last time I ever will." He saw the tears in her eyes and pulled her close. 

They stayed like this in silence for a long time until Logan finally pulled away forcing a smile to his face.

"That's why I cancelled all my appointments for this weekend." He announced. " I want to take you out and do all the things I won't be able to do…in a couple of days perhaps." His own eyes were brimmed with tears now. He quickly blinked them away and changed the subject. 

"So how about pancakes for breakfast?" 

At his words Max' face suddenly turned as pale as a sheet and she bolted out of the kitchen. A few seconds later Logan could hear her throw up in the bathroom. He grabbed his cane and followed her as fast as his legs would permit.

 "Max!! Are you okay? I thought you liked my pancakes." When he reached the bathroom door Max was just cleaning up and washing her face. She looked at him in the mirror with a weak smile. "I'm okay. …Let me introduce you to…morning sickness," she said sarcastically.

A little smile crept to Logan's face. "So you're up for some pancakes now?" he grinned. Max spun around and aimed the towel at Logan in mocked fury.

"No I'd rather go for eggs and bacon!" She said sticking out her tongue.

Twenty minutes later they were perched on the stools at the counter, eating their pancakes. Despite her earlier attack of morning sickness, Max was now shovelling the food into her mouth. She had nearly finished her stack of pancakes, when she realised that Logan had barely touched his.

"What's up? Aren't you hungry?" she asked.

Logan frowned and pushed away his plate. "I don't feel like eating. My stomach doesn't seem to agree with the three cups of coffee I had," he said with a crooked smile.

Max gave him a reproachful look. "When did you get up anyway?"

"Around four." Logan said, wiping his hands on a paper napkin.

"What?" Max called out in surprise. "Why did you get up that early?" she asked worried.

Logan frowned. "I couldn't lie still anymore. Those spasms were bothering me again. So I thought I could just as well get some work done." As if on cue, Logan's left leg started to cramp up, causing him to wince.

"Speaking of which…" he said between clenched teeth, grabbing the counter with both hands to steady himself against the pain.

Max jumped up worriedly and stood next to him, unsure of what to do. "Can I do something?" she asked hesitantly.

"No…Max,…well maybe -yessss…."Logan hissed. "I …need… to… straighten it." Max wordlessly grabbed Logan's leg and carefully moved it against the contracting muscles. Logan winced, but after some time he felt the spasm subside, while Max continued to work on his foot.

"You wanna move over to the couch, so I can give you a massage?" she asked tentatively.

Logan nodded, thankful, and carefully slid off the stool. Slowly they moved over to the living room, Max staying close to him, in case the spasm would come back.

Logan lay down on the couch, while Max took his legs into her lap and started to massage them gently.

"Max?" Logan asked after some minutes.

"Yeah."

"You talked to Asha, didn't you?"

"You mean about the baby?"

"Yeah."

"Sort of. " Max shrugged.

"What 's that mean?" Logan asked confused.

Max shrugged again. "I got a little nauseous and she asked me if I was okay. So I told her."

"Hmmmm."

"What?"

"Why didn't talk you talk to me in the first place?"

" I thought you'd freak out. I mean this is not the best timing to have a baby, right!"

"Hmmm."

"I guess I just needed to practise those words. Hear them myself at least once." Max offered.

Logan nodded, but could not help but be a little disappointed that he hadn't been the first to know.

He watched Max's face suspiciously. He could see that she was thinking about something else.

"Would you have told me at all, if I hadn't overheard you?"

"Of course I would have!" Max said a little too loud and fast.

Logan raised an eyebrow." Honestly?"

Max looked down at her hands avoiding his gaze. "Sooner or later…."

"Max!" 

"I wanted to wait until the time was right. Until you were…better. ,"she answered shyly, running her hands over his knees.

Logan ran his palms over his face in frustration "So I'm lucky I found out at all!" he shot at her bitterly.

Max looked up at him confused.

Logan drew his legs from her lap and stood up, feeling the need to pace. " I'm not gonna be 'better', Max! Never!" he shouted angrily, taking a few shaky steps into the room, only to be stopped immediately by a recurrent spasm in his leg. He grabbed the backrest of the armchair, struggling to keep his balance. 

 Max hesitated for a second, willing to give him the chance to deal with this alone, but the spasm was getting stronger and stronger, rising up along his thigh to his back. She rushed over and hugged his waist tightly, taking some weight off his legs, steadying him.  "It's okay. Let go," she whispered.

Logan reluctantly removed his hands from the backrest and closed his arms around her as they slowy slid down to the floor. There they sat wordless for a while. Max gently rubbed Logan's back, while he tried to calm his legs.

"I'm sorry." Logan finally said in a choked voice. "It just throws me off that… I just didn't think it would be that quick."  

Max wiped a tear away that was threatening to escape her eye and hugged him deeply.

"It's not over yet. This doesn't mean anything. You can still walk," she said desperately.

Logan shook his head. "You know that's not true.  It' s just a matter of time. I'll be back where we started soon." He thought back to the past six months, with all the renewed hopes and all the setbacks to destroy them again. Only he had never been this close to walking again, after the effects of the first transfusion had worn out. But he knew that he had to put this to an end. Max didn't deserve this. She was just about as exhausted as he was. He had no right to put her through this over and over again. She had seen him through all the good and bad times, had swallowed all his anger and frustration, and had never left his side through all this. She deserved to get some rest. It would do both of them good. He just had to figure out how to live with being in the chair. He drew away from her and watched her closely. She looked so tired.

Max had closed her eyes. "I don't want that to happen," she said, shaking her head. A single tear escaped her long lashes.  

"I thought it didn't matter to you?" she heard Logan's voice from far. She forced herself to look at him only to find the same sadness, she had hoped so desperately not to see in his eyes again.

She swallowed and shook her head again. "It never mattered to me. But I know how much it means to you. And I can't stand to see you so sad." Another tear escaped her eyes now, and Logan reached over to wipe it away. "Don't cry for me, Max. I know I haven't been easy. But I'll find a way to be happy. I promise. And I need you to be happy for me today. Because there are so many things I have left to do as long as I still can!" he said firmly, stroking a lock of hair from her face. Then he pushed himself up carefully and held out his hand for Max to get up. "Come on. No work today. All of this weekend is reserved for you and me…All fun and play." He forced a smile. "…and being happy." he added as if for himself.

****************************************************************

TBC…So this is it for now. What do you think? The next chapters are going to be happier-I promise! ;-)


	4. Being happy

Disclaimer: I don't own them, bla bla bla…

A/N: Thanks everybody for the reviews;

Suzanne: You like angst?- There'll be more of it later, but first, it's time for them to be happy!

Me: No worries! This fic has some more chapters to come! I just might take some time to update 'cause I'm real busy.

Idlehands: Thanks for staying with me and for all the good reviews! I'm glad to 'brighten your day'-(blush)

As for the cure…I'd never say never, but I hadn't exactly planned that….

SuperBlonde: I can feel your breath on my neck! Lol –I'm gonna let Logan wallow in his self pity some more, but he should be ready to learn some lessons also!

OD: Thank you so much for your detailed review. I appreciate it when people actually quote what they especially liked-or didn't like.

Huntress: Thanks for dropping me a line!

Bob, Akischo: Here's some happiness for you!

**Special note:** Please note that this chapter and maybe some of those to come should actually be rated  R or NC-17 for sexual actions. I'm not too familiar about the criteria though. In Germany it would probably be restricted for over 18 years of age-if it was a movie that is.

I'm sorry if this keeps any of you from reading. I probably should have rated my fic all along from the beginning. I'll try to change that in the settings now. Anyhow; anybody who's up for Max and Logan having a good time, just read and see for yourself. And please: Let me know what you think!

**************

 Chapter 4 – Being happy 

A couple of hours later they were on their way to the beach on Max's motorcycle. Logan was driving. Max had jokingly threatened him of what would happen if her 'baby' would get the slightest scratch. Now she was clinging to his back, shouting instructions and warnings every now and then when she thought he was driving too risky. Logan held his tongue. He knew that he was a good enough driver, but he also knew how much Max cared for her 'baby'. 'Well', he thought, 'nine months from now there will be another baby to take care off!'

They had left the appartment without worrying about cleaning away the dishes or anything else to delay their departure. Logan had insisted that Max let him pack their stuff, while she got ready, so he could surprise her with where they were going. Max had protested at first, but had given in eventually. She already had an idea where he'd take her.

After two hours of driving Logan turned onto the road that led to the waterfront. Max grinned. She had guessed right. It was a real hot day. Where else would he have gone!? When they had reached the beach they looked for a quiet secluded place to set down their towels. Logan opened the bag and threw her bathing suit at her. "Race you into the water!" He said grinning and quickly undressed to head off into the water. "Hey, that's NOT FAIR! " Max called after him as he hobbled over the hot sand. He wasn't very fast, but at least the spasms hadn't come back since the morning and Max hoped that they wouldn't come back too soon and spoil his fabulous mood.

"You're cheating! You were already wearing your swim shorts!" She shouted and changed into her bikini quickly, then raced after Logan. 

After they had cooled off in the water they took a long relaxed walk along the shore, letting the sun dry off their wet bodies. Max watched Logan dig his feet into the sand and splash them into the water. He seemed to enjoy  every sensation on his bare feet that he could get. -The cool water, the hot sand, even the sharp stones, that had collected near the beach didn't seem to bother him.- It was like he was sucking up the feeling to bottle it up as a memory for the future. He even insisted on climbing onto the rocks that breached into the water, although Max argued that this was much too dangerous. If the spasms returned and he'd lose his balance….. She didn't want to think about that. But then, she didn't want to be a dope. How could she deny him that experience if it could be the last time?

When they had explored the beach for long enough, they went back to their towels, dried up and packed their stuff. They were both hungry; Logan, because he had hardly eaten anything for breakfast, Max because she already felt that she had to eat for two. They had spotted a small sea-food restaurant that was located directly at the beach, so they decided to try it for lunch. The restaurant was a lovely little wooden house, with fishing nets and other fishing equipment decorating the walls. They picked a table on the patio looking over the beach. They chose sepia with fresh salad and potatoes. Everything was perfect and they joked around about the name they would pick for their child.

Suddenly Logan grew quiet. Max looked up from her plate and saw Logan look over to the beach. There was a family with two little children. The father was chasing the kids into the water and throwing them up into the air, so they were splashing back into the water screaming happily. Logan watched him take his son on top of his shoulders, then carry him into the deeper water. Max put her fork down and swallowed hard. She knew exactly what Logan was thinking.

"I won't be able to do that with our child," he frowned.

Max reached out for his hand. "Maybe not. But that's not what it's about. A child needs to be loved and cared for. And you'll always be able to do that." she said firmly.

"Yeah. I was just thinking… how will our child feel when all the other dads take thei kids to the beach or out into the woods, teach them to do sports, whatever…" he trailed off looking back at the happy family.

Max squeezed his hand and sighed: "Logan, there may be a few things you can't do. But there are so many more things that you can do to make up for that! Do you think our child will love or appreciate you less just because you can't walk? "She shook her head. " It will grow up with it, It will be just normal.- You just have to find a way to deal with it yourself."

She looked at him, waiting for a reaction  When he he kept staring out over the beach she got up to walked around the table and sit down on Logan's lap, embracing him. "What about being happy, huh? " she asked smiling, trying to cheer him up. "Don't worry. We'll find a way. I promise." 

Logan buried his face in the crook of her neck and took in her scent. 'Boy, how much he loved this woman! She always seemed to know the right words. And she was carrying his child. Considering, he felt very proud. She was right. There was still so much he could do for their child. He would read to their child, play games, teach him or her to play chess, introduce the child to music and arts, maybe poetry. Yes. Maybe they could even play basketball together-oh and don't forget the cooking!' His thoughts were tumbling over another. He chuckled at another picture that sprang to his mind. First it was all going to be about changing diapers, sleepless nights and baby powder everywhere.

"I'm gonna be a father." He said smiling to himself. 

Max broke their hug with mocked fury. "Hey, don't forget about the mommy!"

They spent a few hours, sitting at the beach, taking an occasional swim and continuing their earlier discussion about baby names. When the sun started to go down and the air got colder they headed back to Logan's apartment.

"So what's the plan?" Max asked, when they finally entered the penthouse.

"Let's get rid of all this sand and dirt for a start!" Logan said, pulling Max with him towards the bathroom, kissing her on their way.

He turned on the shower and slid off his clothes until he was dressed down to his boxers. Then he slid Max' shirt over her head and caressed her neckline with soft kisses. Max unbuttoned her pants and let them slide to the floor. The hot water was steaming around them as they got rid of the remaining clothes and stepped into the shower. The sand washed off their bodies and collected at their feet. Logan took the shower gel and started to soap Max' body in soft circles. He slowly kneeled down and soaped her legs and feet. When he was finished Max helped him get up again. She took the shower gel from him and poured some into her hands. She started massaging his back and rubbing his chest until he was covered with soft fluffy white foam. She caught the foam with her hands and kneeled down in front of him, spreading the foam on his butt and down his legs. She caressed his skin and massaged his calves gently.  Then she felt his hand under her chin pulling her up towards his face. He plunged his tongue into her mouth and pulled her closer, his erection pressing against her abdomen. Max slid her hand down and softly wrapped it around him. She started stroking him up and down, their lips still firmly interlocked. Logan broke their kiss and arched back against the wall. She could hear his low groans through the mist. She entangled her leg with his, pushing him against up the wall, her hand moving up and down his shaft, the hot water pouring over them. Logan drew her close and caressed her neck, biting her earlobe and finding the way back to her mouth every now and then, while his hands were stroking her breasts and stadling her sides, the sliding down her back. 

As the mist seemed to engulf the two of them he called out her name and released the warm fluid into her hand to be washed down by the water that was streaming down their bodies. Logan leaned his head back against the cool wall, panting slightly. Max could feel his legs tremble slightly against hers which was still wrapped around him. She could feel his hand slide down between her legs, moving slowly, almost teasing, slowly massaging her sensitive spot. She pressed against him longing for more. He reached for her and turned her around, pressing her body against his, trailing his lips over her bearcode, one hand on her full breast while the other hand continued to explore her depths. Max groaned. It didn't take long for her to follow him suit. She felt a shiver go through her whole body, mingling with the slight trembling of his legs. She turned around and  brought her head up to his lips, closing her arms around his back to steady his stand. As her heartbeat slowed down, she kissed his chest and snuggled against it. 'Yeah, this was feeling so good, she mused. Just perfect.'

They stayed like this for a while until Logan reached out and turned off the shower. "I think I need sit down for a while," he said camly. 

"Sure." Max got out of the shower and reached for a towel. The stupid grin wouldn't leave her face.

"We could  take a little nap before we go out." She said, wrapping herself in the towel.  "You're going to take me out, aren't you?" she asked curious.

"I thought we could go dancing." Logan said sitting down on the shower seat carefully.

Max wrapped stepped back into the shower and wrapped the huge fluffy bath towel around them. "I'd love to do that," she said with a content smile. 

Sooooo…What do you say? Didn't I promise happy times?!…and the evening is still to come.

Please let me know what you think - honestly!


	5. May I have this Dance?

Disclaimer: Same as always.

A/N: As I'm really busy you guys, just a BIG THANK YOU to all of you who reviewed. I really appreciate that!

I thought I might give you the next chapter to read for Christmas. And it's a happy one again! All fluffy and shippy. Do I need to say more? Oh and please bear with me for taking so long to post. My life is extremely stressful right now and I'm doing my best! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Chapter 5 – May I have this dance? 

Logan took Max out to a small Italian restaurant in the former Italian quarter of Seattle. Somehow through al the mess and corruption this little island of traditional cuisine had remained nearly untouched throughout the years. Logan hadn't been there for a while but he remembered the excellent food and charming atmosphere very well. So he had been glad to find that it was still running and had  reserved quiet table earlier. He sighed contently, when they were greeted by the frinedly waiter and led to a nice little table a little away from the other guests. He thought about ordering a glass of the best pre-pulse wine, then reconsidered. He was going to join Max in having a glass of grape juice instead. Maybe it would suit him good to keep a clear head for what he had in mind. He looed around, satisfied. Candles were lighting the room and there was a violin player moving from table to table. They ordered some salad and some Bruscetta bread as an appetizer. Everything was real calm and quiet. They had talked a lot during the day and now they were simply enjoying each other's presence and the peaceful, relaced atmosphere. By the time they had finished their starters Logan was growing more and more nervous and started playing around with the cutlery. Eventually he cleared his throat and excused himself. Max shrugged and watched him walk towards the bathrooms. He was so sexy. She loved his tight little butt, she smirked. She just hoped that she would be able to see it for a little longer. It hurt her to see him go through this again. It didn't make a big difference to her if he was in the chair or not. However, she knew it did for him. 

She looked around the small restaurant. She liked its relaxed and calm atmosphere. There were candles everywhere. People were talking quietly and enjoying their meals. The whole atmosphere was so romantic. Wait a minute; when had she begun to like this stuff? She chuckled to herself about how much of a normal girl behaviour she had taken on in such a short time. Well, blame it on the hormones, she thought to herself. She took another sip of the sweet juice, watching the people around her. Most of them were silently enjoying their meal. A few couples were moving slowly on the small make-shift dance-floor in the middle of the main room.

When Logan returned after what seemed to be an eternity, he looked even more nervous. Max wondered what had happened that had made him so nervous. The main course came and they ate in silence. Despite the rich lunch they had had, Max was hungry again from the eventful day. She finished her lasagne in no time. Then she watched Logan shove around his pasta on his plate. He had not even finished half of it.

"You're not hungry?" Max asked, noticing that this sounded familiar to her from earlier that day.

Logan looked up from his plate and blushed. "No, I'm fine. I mean…yes. I'm just…"

Max raised her eyebrows. She wondered why he was behaving so strangely. He had been so relaxed most of the day but now he seemed all tense again. Logan finished his glass in one draught, grinning at her stupidly. He frowned, noticing that the grape juice wouldn't boost his courage like wine would have done.

Max opened her mouth to say something, but was haulted by the waiter who approached their table. 

"Is everything okay here?" he asked. Logan quickly nodded and pushed the plate away, indicating that he was done.

"You're finished, Sir? Madame?" the waiter asked politely. Max could not help but notice a strange look in his eyes. What was up with everybody all of the sudden?

"Yes. " Logan said a little too loud.  "I think we are ready for a …desert. " He shot an intense gaze at the waiter.

"Could we have another look at the menu please?" He twisted his head up and raised his eyebrows at the waiter.

The waiter flashed a smile, nodded hectically and hurried away.

Max watched the scene in disbelief. What the hell was going on?

Was everyone going crazy? She frowned, reached for her glass and watched Logan fumble in his pockets. 

He caught her staring at him and said: "Oh, Max. …Close your eyes please." Finally having found what he had been looking for he sighed relieved.

Max cocked her head at him. "Why should I?" she asked slightly annoyed.

Logan stopped fumbling around and took her hand "Please!" he pleaded.

"Okay, okay." Max said. 

She put on a little pout and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut and listened to the noises around her. Suddenly she heard Logan's chair move and he stepped closer. The conversations around them died one by one. The sound of the violin grew closer until she felt like it was right beside her.  She could hear the waiter approach, the glasses on his tablet clinging lightly. Then she could hear Logan clear his throat.

"Open your eyes Max!" 

She opened her eyes. Logan was standing in front of her, his face flushed. With trembling hands, he reached for her hand and slowly went down to his knees in front of her. In his free hand, he was holding a little black velvet box. The violin music was swelling up around them. People turned in their chairs to watch.

"Max." Logan started in a hoarse voice. "You know that I have loved you from the first time I saw you. It took us a long time to realise that we belong together." He caught her eyes before he continued. "It's never been easy, but I'm glad that we have finally worked things out." He swallowed.  "You have kept me going all of  this time and I want you to know that I'll always do my best to keep you going, too. …" 

He paused to catch his breath. Max sat there unable to move. Her head was spinning slightly and she was wondering if there had been more than juice in her glass.

"I want to be there for you-"She heard Logan say through a fog. "…and for our child- forever, come what may. Like you said; we're in this together." He smiled. Then he snatched the black velvet box open and looked into her eyes again. 

"Max, will you marry me? " 

Everybody held his or her breaths. Even the violin player forgot to play.

Max slowly managed to make sense of the words she had just heard-or at least believed to have heard, then shakily got up from her chair and knelt down opposite Logan. She placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him. It was the only sensible thing she could do right now, while her mind still tried to process the answer. As she kissed him deeper and inhaled his scent, the words came flowing into her mind with a force, promting her to speak them aloud eventually. There was only one true answer.

"Of course I will. " she said still in a daze.

The tension broke and everybody inhaled again. A wave of applause rolled over them, as Logan smiled relieved and shakily put the ring on her finger. The waiter approached them with two glasses of Champaign. Max stood up, pulling Logan up with her. She flung her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear:

"I love you". 

"May I have this dance?" Logan asked, when the music started to play again, bowing lightly in front of his fiancée.

"I can't dance." Max said teasingly. 

A smile played around Logan's lips. Wasn't that supposed to be his line?

"Sure you can…. Mind over matter." He was going to play along with her game if she wanted him to.

"See, my problem is"…she hesitated, and then smiled. "I never learned the steps."

Logan put his arms around her, grinning broadly.

"Forget about the steps. Just dance." He said softly. Max smiled as she let him guide her to the dance floor.

If not all the eyes had been on them before, they were now, following them as they slowly moved towards the dance floor, lost in each other's eyes.

The small combo who gave the restaurant its unique flair played a slow waltz for the couple.

Their fingers entwined and their eyes conveyed all the love they felt for each other.

People could not help but stare at this display of pure love and affection. 

The beautiful dark haired girl looked quite young but very mature for her age. The expression on her face betrayed that she must have been through a lot in her short life.  The tall handsome man had to be a couple of years older than her, but he had such a boyish smile that nobody had the slightest doubt that they'd fit together perfectly. Both conveyed a sense of sophistication and-despite the happy occasion- a little sadness, as they slowly moved on the dance floor. They couldn't help but wonder what could make them so sad and happy at the same time and hoped for them to get over it together. But from the look in their eyes, the way theyl wouldn't let go of each other's gaze, they knew they would probably overcome anything.

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Okay guys, this sounds like the end, but it isn't! The trouble is just about to start. So stay with me for the next chapter!


	6. Seizures and thoughts

A/N: I know that I'm taking ages to post, and I'm very sorry. Still, I hope that a few people are still reading this. I can't promise to post regularly at the moment, because I'm drowning in work. So I beg for your patience-and just a little, teeny tiny review, maybe? :) Tell me what you think.  
  
Seizures and thoughts  
  
***  
  
Logan woke up in the middle of the night. He didn't know what had woken him, but he had the strange feeling that something was wrong. He stretched out his arm to the other side of the bed and patted the covers hoping to find Max' slim figure. But she wasn't there.  
  
He sat up with a start and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Then he fingered for his glasses and hastily put them on one-handed. His other hand was searching for the cane that he had left leaning against the side of the nightstand. Glancing around, his eyes slowly adapting to the darkness, Logan noticed a beam of light fall into the bedroom. The bathroom door was open a crack. "Max?" he called out. There was no answer. Hastily, he got to his feet, swaying a little before he caught his balance, and then stumbled forward towards the bathroom, cursing his numb feet. 'Just work for now! Just one more time,' he hissed.  
  
When he pushed the bathroom door open, he was shocked to find Max huddled on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chin. Her gaze was directed into nothing and she was seizing violently.  
  
"Oh my God, Max!" Logan exclaimed, letting himself slide down to the floor next to her.   
  
Without focusing on him, Max shakily took hold of his hand, which had come to rest next to her own, squeezing it in a tight grip obviously unable to control its force. Logan winced.  
  
"Hang on a second!" he said entwining his hand from hers and pushing himself up into a standing position again. "I'll get the pills."   
  
He walked over to the cupboard and searched for the bottle of Tryptophan. Then he slid down beside Max again. Leaning against the side of the bathtub, he gently tilted her head back and forced some pills down her throat. He felt her iron grip around his hand again.   
  
"Shhh, honey. You're gonna be okay. These will help." He said soothingly. "I'm here."  
  
  
  
Logan pulled her close to his chest and stroked her hair back from her sweaty face. He wondered for how long she had been sitting there. All she was wearing were tank top and shorts. She had to be freezing. Logan reached for a towel and carefully wiped her face with it, then put it around her bare shoulders. Her whole body was shaking now, completely out of control. Logan held her head to his chest, hoping the Tryptophan would kick in soon. This was really scary! He had never seen Max that bad before. And the Tryptophan was taking its time! With Max's hand close to squishing his own, he hoped and prayed for the seizure to subside. But it didn't.   
  
Three minutes passed, five minutes passed. Nothing. Her condition hadn't improved at all. Completely at a loss what else to do to help her, Logan got out another handful of pills and forced Max mouth open again to squeeze them in.   
  
"Swallow Max, swallow. Just a few more!" he pleaded with her. He just hoped that he was doing the right thing. The bottle of pills was nearly empty.  
  
Finally, after another torturous five minutes, Logan felt Max's body relax a little. Her grip of his hand loosened. Her head rested heavily against his chest.  
  
Sighing with relief, Logan shifted a little under her and let her slide down carefully, so her head was resting in his lap. He watched her take a few deep breaths, her features and her whole body relaxing gradually. She seemed to be dozing off now. Before she could fall asleep, Logan patted her face lightly.   
  
"Max, can you hear me?"  
  
Max tilted her head a little but didn't respond. Logan tried again. "Max, honey, you okay?"  
  
This time he got through to her. When she finally opened her eyes wearily, he let out another sigh.  
  
"Feeling a little better?"   
  
"Logan…What?….Ye…Yeah." She managed, still with a slight trembling in her voice.  
  
"You had me scared there!" Logan said, trying to sound light- hearted.  
  
"Scared …..myself, …too." Max replied weakly, fighting back the sleep that was claiming her. "Though…I can't …remember…how I…got…here." She looked up at Logan with bleary eyes.  
  
Logan shook his head. "Something woke me up. I saw the light in the bathroom and I found you here, on the floor. Gosh, I don't think I've ever seen you that bad. I had to feed you half the bottle of Tryptophan, before it worked. " Logan said seriously, stroking her forehead. "I honestly think you should go see a doctor about that. Especially in your condition..." He added hesitantly, knowing what her reaction would be.   
  
Max shakily ran her fingers over her face. "You know… I can't… do that," she said frowning.  
  
Logan wouldn't get her away with that. "Max, if you don't do it for yourself, do it for the sake of the child. You wouldn't want to risk anything, do you" he said soft but determined. "And you know you can trust Sam. We could go there first thing in the morning. …I was going to see him anyway." He paused for her to let the words sink in.  
  
Even in her weakened state, Max managed to glare up at him. "Weren't you the one …who refused ….to see a doctor…just a few hours ago." she asked confused. Logan put on his best poker face. If that was the only way to get her to see Sam, he'd have to play along.  
  
"Actually, I was planning on seeing him Monday at the latest," he said. "These spasms are getting worse by the hour. I thought I'd better have something at hand –just in case…" Max frowned, trying to process his words. It seemed like her mind was always two steps behind. She opened her mouth to say something, but Logan was quicker. "Now let's get you back to bed." he said without waiting for her answer.   
  
Feeling her mind drift off again, Max just nodded. She was much too exhausted to argue right now.  
  
Meanwhile Logan struggled to prop the sleepy Max back up against the bathtub, then staggered to his feet. His toes and whole forefeet were numb now. "Ok, let's do it, Max, before you fall asleep in here!" he said, offering his arm, holding onto the bathtub for support with his free hand.  
  
"Do you think you can walk over?" Max heard Logan ask through the fog in her head. "…cause I don't think I can carry you."  
  
Max nodded and shakily got to her feet, gratefully accepting Logan's outstretched arm. In what seemed to be slow motion compared to her usual pace, she made her way back to the bedroom, pausing in the door-frame to catch her breath.   
  
Logan followed close behind her, hoping that she would make it back to the bed safe on her own. He hadn't paid attention to it earlier but his legs had begun to spasm quite heavily again, making it difficult for him to even make a straight path. A burning sensation had added onto the numbness in his legs, which was close to driving him up the wall. Maybe it was a good thing to see his doctor, after all.   
  
Max collapsed on the bed and crawled under the covers pulling the blanket up over her head. She was still trembling slightly. She took a few deep breaths before she spoke.  
  
"Logan?" came her muffled voice from underneath the covers.  
  
"Yes Max?" he asked, sitting down on the bed.  
  
"I'm freezing. …" she whined.  
  
"I'll be right there…" Logan started, rubbing his thighs unconsciously. He'd get her to see a doctor, come what may, he concluded.  
  
"I want a hot water bottle! …Can you get me one?" Max's voice came through again, making Logan smile in spite of himself. He had never seen her that cranky before. But he was thankful to be able to do something for her. Even if it was just getting a hot water bottle.  
  
  
  
"Sure. Be back in a second." he said, carefully rising to his feet again. His gaze fell onto the wheelchair standing in the far corner of the room. He would have put it away as far as possible, but Bling had convinced him to keep it within easy reach, just in case.   
  
Sighing, Logan reluctantly dismissed the idea of walking all the way over to the kitchen. He better be quick if he didn't want Max to freeze before he got back. Moreover, he wasn't even sure whether he'd make it at all. Frowning, he limped over and sat down in the chair, lifting his rebelling legs onto the footrest.   
  
He shivered, as he made his way to the kitchen. Just sitting down in that chair horrified him. What if he couldn't get up again? What if his legs decided to give up on him completely just now? All those past months his body had been mocking him, playing tricks on him, failing him in the worst of all moments. Then, all of the sudden he would be up and walking again, being the happiest person on earth-except for the lurching fear in the back of his mind; the fear of being disappointed again, of losing it all over again.  
  
He would be afraid to go to bed at night because he didn't know if he'd be able to get up in the morning.  
  
Each time he had been walking, he had felt his pride and self-confidence swell, his old cockiness return and his life unravel before him. Each time he had ended up back in the chair, his life seemed to be blown away in just a second. How was he supposed to accept being confined to the chair for the rest of his life when he had been walking only a short while ago? He couldn't quite wrap his mind around that.   
  
He strangely felt even more broken and incomplete now, than he had felt right after the shooting. He had regained the ability to walk and had been forced to watch it slide away again. And there was nothing he could do.  
  
'Half the man I used to be'- he had heard that old pre-pulse love song in the car, just the other day. How ironic, he thought bitterly. 'Half the man.. .'-out of the blue, all of the sudden. His ego crushed again. His manliness compromised -literally speaking. As much as he'd had liked to say that it didn't matter, that he was mature enough so that it didn't count- no matter how often Max had told him that she didn't care if he was in the chair and whatever came with it-he just couldn't see past it.  
  
And despite his good intentions he couldn't see past all the other things he couldn't do.  
  
People kept telling him to concentrate on the things he still could do. But who were they to judge him? They could do anything they liked. They could go anywhere they wanted to, without having to worry about not being able to reach, not being able to get there, not being able to do anything without being drawing attention. He hated to stand out everywhere he went, to be recognised not for his face but for his chair. He hated having people look down at him, towering around him, when for so many years he had been one of the tallest guys in the room. But most of all, he hated not to be able to take care of Max, the way he wanted to, when she needed him.  
  
Frowning, he filled the water boiler and switched it on.  
  
Now it would be like that again. He felt a lump form in his throat. He had to accept it -for Max's sake and for the sake of their child. He'd have to find a way of dealing with being in the chair and with it being final this time. Having Max and the child would help a great deal. But in the end he knew he would have to work it out on his own.   
  
His mind wandered off to a time some years ago. He had grown up to be perfect. Perfectly mannered, perfectly dressed, an outstanding student, a great athlete, a perfect gentleman. Still he had never been able to please his uncle. Uncle Jonas had always set his goals extremely high. Not even his own sons could live up to it. He, being an adopted child, had had no chance whatsoever to please him, no matter how hard he had tried. Having his ass shot off had probably been his uncle's biggest disappointment. Thinking of his uncle, Logan smirked. He had no idea why this bastard still got to him so badly, especially now that he was dead.  
  
The water was boiling and he carefully poured it into the hot water bottle. He closed it carefully and put it into his lap to wheel over to the bedroom. He smiled when he felt the warmth radiate through the terry cloth cover of the bottle. He sighed deeply. He was going to miss that most of all. –the feeling. The feeling of Max on his lap, the feeling of the cold floor under his feet, the feeling of sand and water playing around his ankles, the feeling of sun on his skin, the feeling of a chair under his but -the feeling to have a lower body at all.  
  
When Logan reached the bedroom, Max was already dozing. He climbed into the bed from his side and placed the hot water bottle under her feet... Then he wrapped his body around her small huddled figure. Max snuggled her head against his chest, feeling the warmth radiating from him. He placed a soft kiss on her head.  
  
"Are you okay, Logan?" she whispered. She tiredly tilted her had back and squinted at him. She could see the sadness in his eyes.  
  
"Hey, that's my line!" he meekly replied.  
  
"You know that I'm gonna be fine. Just need some rest." Max said, sleepily. "What about you?" She slung her arm around his body, resting her hand on his lower back.  
  
Logan swallowed hard, burying his nose in her hair.  
  
"Don't worry. I'll be okay." He said. '…hopefully…someday." he added under his breath.  
  
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	7. What if

Disclaimer: They are still not mine, unfortunately  
  
A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update. I had taken a break to study for my exam. But now that I passed it (yay!) I'm free to write again. I hope everybody who read this before will pick it up again. I got some more fluff to come. Now I hope you enjoy this little bit and please let me know what you think of it. (I'm practically starved of reviews after not having been able to post for that long! ;-) )  
  
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WHAT IF...  
  
The next morning Max and Logan were waiting impatiently for doctor Carr. They had registered at the desk and had been sent to wait in one of the examination rooms. The nurse at the reception desk had promised to page Dr.Carr to see if he could squeeze them in. Logan was sitting on the chair opposite the small desk, nervously flipping through the flyer he had picked up in the waiting area for the hundredth time and Max was perched on the examination bench, drumming her feet against its metal side.   
  
"Max!" Logan cried out annoyed. "Could you please stop that?!"  
  
Max jumped off the bench and strolled over to Logan. "I don't see why we are here at all. I'm fine."  
  
"Max, you said yourself that last night scared you as much as it did me. So we're gonna find out what caused it …" He was interrupted by the door opening and Sam hurrying into the room.  
  
"Logan, Max" he nodded, dumping a huge stack of files onto the desk. "Sorry to have you waiting so long, but today is like crazy. " Settling down behind the desk he eyed the couple. "So what is it? You said it was an emergency?"  
  
Logan was about to start explaining about last night's events, but Max, still reluctant to accept the necessity to tell Sam about her seizures was quicker."You go first." She interrupted, smiling at him pleadingly.  
  
Logan shook his head at her careless attitude and reluctantly started.  
  
"Well, Sam. I told you about those…ahem...experiments we did with Max's stem cells, trying to find a way of my body accepting them, so they'd regenerate the destroyed nerves in my spinal chord…"  
  
Sam nodded. "I do remember that...and although I'd really like to see you back on your feet I remember having warned you not to mess around with that!" he said seriously. "The risk is too high, Logan. No one knows what'll happen if your body attacks the stem cells again. You could even trigger some autoimmune reaction…" he drew in some air, realizing that he was getting too emotional about this. " Listen, I told you before that you can't just experiment on your own body like that, unless there's scientific proof and a reasonable chance of it working out. Even then, you wouldn't know whether any change would be permanent. There are studies to be made and you don't even know if…"  
  
Logan held up his hands defeatedly to stop him " Relax. We are giving up on it. There's no use in it anyway," he interrupted the doctor, his voice full of frustration.  
  
Sam raised his eyebrows. "How's that?" He asked motioning towards Logan's legs.  
  
"Even though I don't appreciate what you have been doing, it looks like you are walking again. And you were a couple of times before, when I saw you over the past months."  
  
"I am…I was" Logan corrected himself. "But like you said; it's not permanent. Now, the effect is wearing out and quicker than ever. So, sooner or later I'll be on wheels again." He said with a bitter smirk.  
  
Sam looked from Logan to Max with concern, then back to Logan. "After the previous transfusions it could very well be that your immune system is now developing pre-formed antibodies that attack the stem cells a soon as they get into your system." He shot Logan a meaningful look, then straightened in his chair. "So you gave up on those experiments for good?" he asked.  
  
"Yes. We're done." Logan said with conviction.   
  
Sam furrowed his brow. "How come you're giving up now whereas I couldn't in the world talk you out of it for months?"  
  
A small smile crept to Logan's face "Well, the circumstances have changed a little," he said, holding out his hand for Max to move to his side. Max jumped off the bench and perched on the armrest of Logan's chair, slinging her arm aroud his shoulders.  
  
"Max…," Logan went on, looking up at her to get her okay to spill the good news, "Max is pregnant." At hearing those words spoken out loud, a big smile spread on both their faces.  
  
Dr. Carr looked at the couple in surprise, then smiled back at them. "Well, that's good news for a change!.. .Congratulations! Did you do a test yet?"he adressed Max.  
  
Max shrugged. "I did one of those you get in a drugstore."  
  
Sam nodded. "Those are quite reliable nowadays, but you should have a lab test done also. Just to make sure. Just a couple of hours and we can be sure…."  
  
I suppose you haven't consulted a gynaecologist yet?" Sam continued, knowing full well how wary Max-with her background- was about seeing a doctor.  
  
Max shot him a glance.  
  
"Of course not." Sam answered his own question. "But you certainly should. …" He flipped through the address directory on his desk. "Let me see….Normally I'm not allowed to recommend a specific doctor, but I guess this has to be an exception from the rule…" He continued searching for a while, then jotted down a name and telephone number on a piece of paper and handed it to Max. "You should see Anna, ...that is Dr. Steinman. She is a qualified doctor and a trusted friend of mine.Your secret will be safe with her.SHe can also do the lab test then.I'm gonna call her later to arrange an appointment, if you like."  
  
Max hesitantly accepted the piece of paper and nodded almost invisible. Dr.Carr turned back to Logan."So, back to you. I take it you stopped the testing because Max is pregnant, right?  
  
"Yes, I could never forgive me if anything went wrong…"  
  
Dr. Carr nodded, relieved. He really didn't like the thought of those two experimenting with their blood, especially not with a child on the way."Then let's see how you're doing." He said to Logan. "Could you walk a few steps for me?"  
  
Logan pushed himself up from the chair and slowly started to move across the room. His legs were constantly trembling with spasms now and his gait was anything but steady.  
  
Dr Carr frowned. "Okay, you can sit down again." He motioned towards the examination bench.   
  
"Take off your pants, please."  
  
Sam started with testing Logan's reflexes. Max and Logan were surprised by them being extraordinary lively. Seeing their puzzled looks, Dr. Carr made a calming gesture.  
  
"That's nothing unusual. But then it's nothing to be happy about. Your reflexes are so strong because your brain fails to subdue them due to the severed nerve connections. This is actually a sign of deterioration. ...I'm sorry, Logan."  
  
"I think it's about time we had that line printed on T-shirts." Logan said frustrated although he hadn't expected to hear anything else. It was just too obvious that the nerves in his spinal chord were starting to disassemble again.   
  
Sam continued with examining the sensation in his feet. He saw him prick a little needle into each of his toes, then move up his foot. Nothing. He shook his head. When he reached his heel he could feel a dull, tingling sensation. Then the needle made its way up his calf. Logan smiled. The feeling was still there.  
  
Dr. Carr turned and sat back down at the desk.  
  
"I'd like to tell you something more positive, but I'm afraid I can only tell you what you already know. Considering what you told me, it's very likely that you'll be back where you started soon."  
  
Logan lowered his gaze and stared at his hands. He had known before but still hearing Sam confirm his expectation made it seem even more final. "How long will it take?" he asked. Max sat down beside him on the bench and took his hand in hers.   
  
"That's hard to tell. …When did you start losing the feeling again?" Sam asked.  
  
"Three or four days ago."   
  
"Mhhh…that's pretty quick. I can't tell…a couple of days, a week maybe. What about these spasms. When did they start?"  
  
"About the same time I started to lose the feeling, I guess. But they have been real bad since last night. They used to come only at night on and off. But now they seem to be there all the time."  
  
"Are you in any pain?"  
  
"More like a burning sensation and my legs feel real sore. At first it was just this weird feeling but now it feels like my legs are burning up."  
  
"I assume its worse when you're walking." Dr. Carr interjected.  
  
"Yeah, but it's not exactly a good feeling sitting still either."  
  
Sam nodded: "That's because the nerve roots are irritated , presumably by the inflammatory reaction going on. I can give you something for that."  
  
By now Max was looking at Logan accusingly."You said you were okay!"   
  
Logan sighed. "I was!" he tried to defend himself. "It actually got worse this morning." He added even if he didn't think she'd go for that. He struggled to put his pants back on and moved back to sit down in front of the desk.  
  
Disregardless of the little discussion that was going on in front of him, Dr.Carr got out a prescription and wrote down something in his unreadable handwriting. Then he handed it over to Logan.  
  
"This is a muscle relaxant in combination with a mild pain killer. You had that one before. Take one of those twice a day, mornings and evenings. Should help calm the spasms and relieve the burning sensation. If this isn't enough, come see me again. The other one is a corticosteroid to keep the inflammatory reaction in check. Maybe this way we'll be able to slow down the process a little. Take one of those in the evening. And you should be aware of the fact that the drugs may impair your driving. All right? Do you have any questions?"  
  
Logan silently took the prescription from Sam and shook his head. He had feared that he would be pumped with drugs as soon as he came here. And he knew about the nasty side effects of those medications. Hell he'd had to take them often enough since the shooting. Max had come up behind him and now squeezed his shoulders gently. He put her hand on hers that was resting on his shoulder,remembering why they had come here in the first place.  
  
"There is something else we'd like to talk about," he started. This time Max didn't bail out. She just slipped her hands from his shoulders and moved over to the window, her back turned to the two men as Logan started to explain.  
  
"Last night, Max had one of those seizures. A real bad one. Actually the worst I've ever seen."  
  
Sam cringed his brow again. "How long did the seizure last? ...Max?" he, asked with concern in his voice.  
  
Max turned away from the window and shrugged, still trying to display her careless attitude. But under the surface she was seriously worried.  
  
"I don't know. Maybe ten minutes or something," she said evasively.   
  
"Max!" Logan exclaimed. "When I found you, I assume you had been lying there for some time and then it was another fifteen minutes until the seizure subsided." He wasn't going to let her play it down.  
  
Max crossed her arms in front of her chest defensively: "Excuse me, I wasn't taking the time!" she snapped.  
  
Dr.Carr stepped in, trying to calm her. "Look, Max. This is important. It's not about who's right or wrong. But you shouldn't be playing this down. It's not only you who suffered through that seizure but also your baby. So we need to get the facts right, okay?" he added in a softer voice. …How about twenty minutes? Do you think that comes close to it?"  
  
"Mhhh." Max muttered.  
  
„I think that's close enough," Logan confirmed.  
  
Sam entwined his fingers and cast a long look at the couple before he continued."See, what's kind of worrying here is that the seizure lasted that long. During a seizure the blood circulation and distribution of blood to the placenta can be impaired. This can cause a lack of oxygen supply in the child,which could- in the worst case- lead to permanent damage, especially in those early stages of the pregnancy."  
  
Instantly Max' eyes were tearshot and she looked helplessly from Dr. Carr to Logan and back again. "But…why… I didn't know…I mean…" she stumbled over her words.  
  
Sam motioned towards the second chair next to Logan. But Max sunk down in Logan's lap, blindly searching for his hand and clasping it tight. Logan wrapped his arms around her trying to comfort her. He had never seen her that helpless.  
  
Eventually Sam spoke again. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you Max. But you need to realise that those seizures do not only affect you but also your child, so they need to be taken seriously. We have to try and do whatever we can to prevent that from happening again, all right?"  
  
Max nodded, a tear rolling down her cheek. "But it's never been that bad before. It came totally unexpected." She whispered.  
  
"Nobody's blaming you, Max. It's not your fault. " Logan intervened.  
  
Sam nodded affirmatively. "A lot of things are different during a pregnancy. The whole metabolism changes. You share everything with your child; food, liquids, drugs, even drugs. ...You were taking tryptophane to prevent those seizures, right?"  
  
Max nodded.  
  
"It could very well be that the child uses up part of it, too. Considering that your body can't produce it there is a fair chance of your child also having a deficit of that neuro transmitter. You'll have to make sure you take in enough to last for the two of you."  
  
Max sniffled. "Does that mean the baby might inherit my flaws?" she asked desperately.  
  
Sam drew a deep breath. "Well, I'm afraid that could be possible. But then, there's also a fair chance that Logan's genes make up for that. …" he paused, checking their reaction, but they were both just staring into space, both lost in their own thoughts.  
  
"So, I gather that you used to take the supplement only when the seizures started?" Sam tried to get them back on track again.  
  
"Yes, …kind of. …I could always feel it before it really hit me." Max forced herself to answer.  
  
"Still, as we can't risk you going into a seizure again, I suggest that you take those pills on a regular basis for the duration of your pregnancy. How many pills do you usually need to get rid of the symptoms?"  
  
"A handful. Maybe five or ten, depending on how bad it is." Max sighed.  
  
"And how often do you need them?"  
  
"Twice a month I'd say." She turned towards Logan as if waiting for him to confirm that. He nodded.  
  
"Okay," Dr. Carr scribbled down something on a sketch pad. "You should take five of them twice a week on a regular basis. I hope we can supress another seizure with that. And for now I'll make sure you get an appointment with Dr.Steinman. So she can make sure your baby is okay. All right?"  
  
Max stared down at her hands. Those seizures affected her bad enough. But thinking that they could harm her baby was horrible. And what if she had passed on the defect to their child?  
  
"All right. That's good. We'll do that, " she heard Logan answer for her.  
  
Dr. Carr stood and gathered his things. "If you don't have any more questions I'll leave you alone for now. I'll try to call Dr.Steinman right away. I'll be back in a couple of minutes. You can wait here if you like."  
  
Logan nodded. "Thanks Sam. We really appreciate your help."   
  
With a nod and an encouraging smile Sam left the room.  
  
***  
  
Logan turned his attention back to Max who was still sitting on his lap motionless.  
  
"Hey sweetie. Don't worry. It's gonna be okay. I'm sure our child is tough given his or her mommy's super genes, huh?!" He reached out and wiped a tear from her cheek.  
  
"But that's where the trouble starts! How do you know the baby will be okay? Even a full-grown trained super soldier won't do good without oxygen for much longer than twenty minutes! So what effect will this have on such a small creature?" Tears were running down her face again.  
  
Logan drew her close and hugged her tight. "Max we'll go see that gynaecologist. She'll make a sonography and some more tests. Maybe then we'll know more. Okay? Don't panic. It's gonna be okay." He wished he could believe his own words as much as he wanted Max to believe them.  
  
Max sat up again and searched his face for an answer.  
  
"What if our child is not that strong. What if our child is…."she trailed off at a loss of words.  
  
"That won't be the case" Logan said firmly. "But even if it is not perfectly healthy; wouldn't we love that child just the same?" He added confidently. "Isn't that what you keep trying to tell me?"  
  
Max drew a little smile and embraced Logan deeply.  
  
"And what if our child has the same screwed up genetics as I have?" Logan broke their embrace and looked at her, smirking now. "Then we'll be a whole little screwed up family."  
  
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TBC… 


	8. One more thing

Disclaimer: same again.  
  
A/N: Okay, this is a short one. It's not really essential to the story plot but I still wanted to post it. This is another bit of the medical stuff and I'm not gonna let go of the issues Logan and Max have to face yet. I thought I'd give the medical facts quite a bit of thought in this story-though I don't claim them to be entirely correct. I just did my best to keep them as close to what reality might be as far as I know. Although I tried to keep it as modest as possible. I thought I'd warn you: in case you don't feel comfortable reading about, well- sexual function, just skip this chapter. You'll still get the plot from the next chapter.   
  
Okay, now thanks everybody for the encouraging reviews! By the way; for those who want to know how far along Max is; you'll find out later but of course it would have to been at least 5 weeks for her to take that test, right-and this is all happening within a couple of days, so….go figure!   
  
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One more thing  
  
**************  
  
When Dr. Carr returned a couple of minutes later, Max had calmed down again.  
  
He burst into the room frantically searching his pockets for his pager which was beeping insistantly. He had to get back to the ward soon, but there was still one thing he needed to discuss with his patient here. Pressing the button to silence it for the next couple of minute, he slid the pager back into the pocket of his coat and turned towards Max.  
  
"Sorry about that…"he said slightly out of breath, sliding into his chair. "Okay, Max. I talked to Dr. Steinman. She will see you the day after tomorrow, nine am. Is that okay? She'll meet you up in the ward. It's 21b, fourth floor, left wing. I didn't tell her about your …secret, yet because she was quite busy and I figured you'd rather tell her yourself, then. …Don't worry she's trustworthy," he added when he saw the doubt clearly written in Max's face.  
  
Max nodded hesitantly. "Thank you."  
  
Dr. Carr stuck out his hand to her. "I got to discuss something with Logan here. Would you mind giving us a minute?"  
  
Max got up a little confused, but too tired to object. "I'm gonna be outside then. Gotta call Cindy anyway. Check if she's got me covered with Normal this morning."  
  
Dr. Carr led Max to the door and closed it behind her. Then he turned around to Logan who was eyeing him suspiciously. What was that all about? And why shouldn't Max hear it? His mind started working all the possibilities frantically. It had to be something bad. Maybe there was something else about the child or Max's seizures, which the doctor didn't think Max could take. Or could it be it something about him. Another migrating bullet fragment ? Not again! He couldn't take the risk of going under the knife again, especially now that Max was pregnant. That couldn't be it, right?! Hadn't they told him that all the fragments had been removed. And there hadn't been a recent x-ray or CT they hadn't discussed yet. Shifting nervously in his seat, Logan braced himself for the worst, before Sam finally began to speak.  
  
"Look, I'm not sure how to address this. I'm not even sure if I'm in the position to address it at all. But I find this too important to stay silent about it, too. So,…"  
  
"What is it Sam?" Logan asked impatiently.  
  
"Well, you remember us having that long talk those months ago?"  
  
"I believe we did quite a lot of talking over the past months." Logan gave back slightly irritated now.  
  
"I'm talking about how, shortly after the surgery we had that long talk about how much function you'd presumably regain after the initial shock phase and how the odds were that you'd be able to reproduce, remember."  
  
Logan drew a face and nodded. "Yeah. I do remember that. "  
  
"At that point-given your level of injury- I would have considered it highly unlikely, that you'd ever have children of your own… "  
  
"I got you Sam. But what's the point?" Logan interrupted, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. This was not exactly one of his favourite subjects.  
  
"See. Even now, that prediction wouldn't have changed. I mean even given the fact that you were back on your feet for some time, I wouldn't think that EVERYTHING got back to normal that quickly. Considering that perfectly healthy couples often need months until the woman conceives a child , I find it hard to believe that, in your case it would have "just happened." He paused, waiting for Logan's reaction.  
  
Logan shrugged: "Lucky me I guess. And well, Max is not your run of the mill female, right? I believe I told you about those…phases… she goes through…" he added, giving Sam an odd look, still not getting his point. A couple of months ago he had asked Sam for advice, when she had been literally out of her mind during one of those phases. He had hardly been able to keep her temper in check then.  
  
Sam sighed "That's kind of what I'm worried about. I mean, considering the plain medical facts..I'm sorry, but I have to ask this: Are you sure that you're the father of this child?"  
  
Logan sat there baffled, letting the words sink in. When the meaning of this implication struck him he cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Are you suggesting that Max has been cheating on me?" A mixture of anger and confusion mingled in his mind. How could Sam even think of that?! But then, he had to admit, he had been reluctant himself to believe that he'd ever be a father after the shooting.  
  
Sam raised his hands appeasingly.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry. I probably overstepped my boundaries here. But I have witnessed how hard the past year has been on you and I wouldn't want you to get your head up in the clouds over something that could possibly not be true. I'm just saying you should be aware of those facts. It's not my intention to offend anyone. I just speak from experience. I've had patients come to me completely devastated because their partners looked for the sexual satisfaction elsewhere or even consciously made certain arrangements just to conceive a child -which their partner couldn't give them. "  
  
Taken aback by this information, Logan shook his head vehemently. Max had been in heat a while ago. But she had spent all her time with him. She had practically jumped his bones and been all over him. He smirked at the thought. No, he thought, he trusted Max even when she was in heat and although there had been difficulties in the beginning, their sex life had become more wonderful than he'd ever dreamt it could be and he was confident that Max was as satisfied as he was. She'd never cheat on him!  
  
"No Sam!" he said out loud. "I trust Max. I love her. I'm gonna marry her!... She'd never do that to me!"  
  
Sam held up his hands again in an appeasing gesture. "Okay okay," he said sincerely , " I'm sorry I brought this up in the first place. I probably shouldn't have done that. But I was worried about you." He continued, studying Logan's face carefully."…Well, I guess we have another small miracle here." Smiling now, he stuck out his hand to Logan.   
  
"Believe me; I wish you two all the best. Congratulations."   
  
Logan hesitantly accepted his hand. "Thanks. Is that it for now, Sam?" he said, still unmistakably irritated about the assumption Sam had just made. He knew he had only wanted to warn him, but it still bugged him. Max would never cheat on him! She'd never do that! He rubbed his thighs nervously. He couldn't wait to get outside-partly because of the tense atmosphere in the room, but also because he felt the need to check how Max was doing. She shouldn't be alone now, worrying about their child. And he didn't want to be alone now either.d  
  
Sam gathered his files and got up. "One more thing." He said hesitantly. "I know it's a lot to ask, but maybe you should think about whether you might want to have another child later. In that case you should consider banking some sperm- just in case there won't be another miracle." he said seriously.  
  
Logan sighed deeply. As if he didn't have enough to think about already! "I'd have to talk to Max about that. " He leaned back in the chair and rubbed his face with his palms. "I don't know what to think anymore. All this stuff… I mean. It's enough to deal with being back in the chair and becoming a father. I don't think I can handle any more just now. …" He tiredly looked up at Sam who gave him an encouraging nod.  
  
"I know it's not easy. ..Just talk that over with Max and find out what's best for you. If you like, you could also discuss that with Dr. Steinman. She's very qualified in that field. -My take on that is that you have nothing to lose in preserving some sperm. -But you have to feel comfortable with that. …Just don't take too long…" Sam finished, giving Logan a sympathetic smile.  
  
  
  
Logan nodded. His head was spinning and he felt a wave of panic threatening to overflow him. Too many issues, too many decisions. Too few answers. And he felt like he had no control at all. He said his goodbye to Sam and slowly followed him outside, frowning at the persistent spasms in his legs. Why couldn't ir be one thing at a time. Did it always have to be three or four issues all at once. What was he supposed to do? Where the hell was this going? For him, for Max and their child. He just didn't know.  
  
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TBC... 


	9. Waiting

Hi everybody. I'm back with a new chapter. Finally. Thanks for encouraging me to continue this story. Gives me a good excuse to avoid what I'm actually supposed to do…

Anyway, I had to read through the story again myself, to get back on track. I hope I didn't mix things up. Please let me know if anything seems weird to you. Also, I haven't had someone beta-read my story so please excuse my spelling mistakes. I hope you enjoy this chapter anyway.

Feedback as always welcome!

Waiting

Max was sitting by the payphone in the waiting area, waiting for Cindy to call her back. She checked the clock above the nurse's station. It was 12.30. Cindy, Sketchy and herself were supposed to be doing Saturday's shift, so Normal had to be pulling his hair out by now and Cindy had to be real mad at her for letting her down. Max started pacing nervously around the waiting area. Why didn't Cindy call her back? Maybe she'd gone for an early lunch and had turned off her pager in order not to be bothered by Normal. Max ignored the other people's unnerved looks, as she was brushing past them. She just couldn't stand still. Her head was spinning with all the good and bad things that happened over the past couple of days-and now the worry about the baby. When the phone finally rang, Max jumped forward and snapped up the receiver before the second ring.

"Hey boo, it's me."

"Max!" she heard Cindy's voice. "I was worried to death about you! What happened? Why didn't you show for work today? Normal's driving me crazy and I'm running out of excuses why you're not here!"

"Cin…" Max started. Just then the voice calling system of the hospital kicked in, asking a patient's family to report to the ward, causing another tirade of Cindy's.

"Max! What's going on? Why are you at the hospital? You okay? Damn, I knew something was wrong!"

"I'm okay Cindy. Don't worry!" Max finally managed. "Logan's seeing his doctor. I'm just here for company," she lied. She didn't want to spill the news over the phone, let alone with all those people listening.

"Wow….Okay." OC said with a relieved sigh. "Sorry Boo. I'm a little tense…but you could have let me know, ya know! And I didn't get a chance to talk to you in days."

"I'm sorry. I just had to take some time off." Max replied.

"I guess so…" Cindy mumbled, then she continued: "So, is Logan okay?"

"He's dealing...Listen: Can you keep me covered for the rest of the day? I'll be in on Monday - I promise."

"Sure." Cindy sighed. "Me and the guys have been cooking up the most exotic excuses all day. But hey; now I can tell Normal you're at the hospital without even lyin'. "

Max watched a young mother with her baby enter the room. She carried a healthy looking baby, while a little boy was trailing behind, a big cast covering his left arm. The woman called out to her son and he ran a few steps to keep up with her. She looked so confident and in control. Max felt a wave of panic sweep over her. How was she of all people supposed to manage a family. She couldn't even manage her own life!

"Max? Hey Max!" she heard Cindy's voice through the fog of her thoughts. "You're still there?"

"Sure," Max snapped back to the conversation. She had to talk to someone about all this. As soon as possible. Otherwise she'd go crazy. "You going to Crash tonight?" she asked her friend quickly. The money was getting short and Logan should be out any minute.

"Don't know yet. The guys are going, but I was thinking about spending a nice cozy evening all alone by myself. Maybe I'll even try some reading."

"No kidding!"

OC chuckled. "What else can I do to keep me from being bored with my boo spending her days and nights at rich boy's lately?"

Max couldn't help but feel a little guilty at that remark although she knew Cindy was not serious. She had told her more than once that she was glad the two of them had finally worked things out.

"How about staying at home for an all girl's evening with your boo," Max asked. "Big bowl of popcorn, little chat..?"

"Uh, huh…Sounds good to me." OC answered. "But what's with you all of the sudden. I haven't really seen a lot of you in days and now you getting all girly. You're scaring me girl!" OC asked warily.

Max sighed. She hoped Logan would understand that she had to spend the evening with her boo. Everything was happening so fast. She needed some time at her crib to think. "Got some news for ya," she finally said.

Max could picture OC raising her eyebrows in surprise "Good or bad?" she heard her say.

"Mostly …good, I'd say." Max answered, though she didn't feel good at all right now.

"Aright then, boo. I'll be home around six. Just let yourself in and make yourself at home." Original Cindy teased.

"See ya then." Max said.

"'kay, later."

Max hung up the phone. It would do her good to break the news to her best friend and discuss all the issues with her. She still couldn't believe she was going to be a mother. She didn't know if she was mature enough to raise a child.. She wasn't sure, if she was ready to tie herself to such a little creature and to take such a big responsibility. She would have to move in with Logan, stay in the same spot, be there for their child. 'Their child'! She still found it hard to believe that they actually would get married and have a child together. It all seemed like someone else's life. She didn't know how she would manage. _If_ she would manage at all. She had never had a mother herself to show her what a mother was supposed to do.

But she could worry about that later, she told herself. One day at a time. Right now she just had to get that stupid doctor's appointment over with and to be there for Logan. It would still take a couple of weeks for her pregnancy to show, and it would be a another eight months until she'd have to deal with the baby. She still had a lot of time, she reassured herself. Feeling a lot better, she walked over to the far end of the waiting area to wait for Logan.

Just when she had sat down in one of the plastic chairs, Logan came out of the examination room. Max could tell from his face that it cost him a great effort to walk even the short distance to where she was sitting.

"So what was that about?" she asked, as he sat down next to her.

"Ahhhh…nothing actually…" he said evadingly, rubbing his thighs unconsciously.

"Doesn't seem like nothing to me," Max insisted.

"Nothing important. Sam just wanted to ask me something. Nothing for you to worry about," he replied evadingly.

"Come on, spill it!" Max demanded, locking her eyes on him.

"Max, it's nothing, really!"

Max shook her head. "This is not what we agreed on. I'll tell you everything – and you tell me. No more secrets. Remember!"

Logan gave a faint smile at Max's speech, then sighed defeated. "You remember, when you told me that you were pregnant and I kind of …overreacted?"

"Sure, but that's okay. After all you don't get to…"

Logan grabbed her hand that was resting on the rim of the plastic chair. "Max, will you listen to me now?" he interrupted her. Max bit her lips and nodded. Logan's expression grew serious and he played with her fingers nervously.

"I said that I thought that I couldn't be a father, remember?"

Max nodded, keeping her mouth tightly shut.

"I really thought that I couldn't - I mean, not …just… mentally, but also, you know, physically…" he trailed off and stared at the ground. A slight redness worked its way up his neck into his face. "Sam just told me that, given my level of injury," Logan cleared his throat and looked up at Max hesitantly. "It's very unlikely that I still could…you know," he blushed again, "and even if so, it would be very unlikely for you to become pregnant at once. So…"

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Max couldn't help but smile at the puppy face, Logan was displaying. She took his face in both hands to force him to look at her.

"But apparently it worked, right? Or what do you think where this child comes from?" she gestured to her still flat and toned belly.

"I don't know…" Logan said hesitantly. ."I…didn't really feel what was going on, when…you know," he trailed off.

"But I did." Max said and a smile crept to her face.

"Weren't you worried that you could get pregnant?" Logan asked her surprised.

"No, I...honestly didn't think about it. … I didn't think that one time would've done it…" Max said straight out, regretting the words as soon as they had left her mouth. "But then, considering, I was in heat around that time…"she added. 'Very good,' Max said to herself, 'you're making it even better!'.

Logan had turned away from her, staring at the floor.

"I'm sorry Logan" Max said in a soft voice. " I didn't mean to…"

"I know."

They sat in silence for a seemingly endless minute until Logan spoke again.

"God. This is so pathetic!"

"It's not."

"Yes it is!"

"Logan, don't be silly. We made a child, after all. That's wonderful. Not pathetic. Don't be so hard on yourself."

Logan sighed deeply, still looking miserable. "Yeah you're probably right," he admitted.

"Sure I am. …So what did Sam want to talk to you about?" she said, intending to change the subject.

Logan stared at her for a while before answering. "If you really have to know: he asked me, whether I was sure that I'm the father of this child," he said, ducking his head instinctly in anticipation of Max's reaction.

Max jumped from her chair, fuming with anger. "What?" she yelled. "How dare he say that! You are the father, because there has never been anybody else. What does he think, I'm a whore or what! I'd never cheat on you! I'm gonna go in there and…." She spun around furiously but Logan caught her by the arm.

"Max!" Logan chuckled. "Chill! See, that's why I didn't want to tell you any of this. I saw this coming. And I don't want you to kill my doctor."

"Well, who'd blame me if I did!" Max yelled. "That's none of his f business anyway!"

Logan looked around nervously. They were certainly drawing attention. Max's temper was even worse than he'd expected. That probably came with the hormone changes.

"Max! Sit down again, please. I know that you're not cheating on me and I told Sam so. He apologized," Logan said calmly.

Max eased up a little and Logan let go of her arm. But she still stood there, with a grim face, ready to kick ass.

"Come on . Sit with me. Please!" Logan held out his hand, inviting Max to sit on his lap. Reluctantly, Max followed his pleading. She sat down carefully, noticing the little spasms in his thighs.

"Sam was just worried. He explained that he has seen that happen some of his patients." Logan explained.

"What?" Max asked confused. Her mind was still set on kicking Dr. Carr's ass.

"Couples splitting up. Relationships falling apart. Some just turn away and leave. Some turn towards someone else. Be it for satisfaction or just love. Or for their desire to have children." He paused to think before he continued.

"I know I can be a pain in the ass myself. I have been pretty self-absorbed. I pushed you away so may times. Not everybody is as strong and as patient as you. "

Max was listening to him now. "That sucks."

"Yeah." Logan said calmly, eyeing her up and down. "But, honestly, I don't even blame them. …I couldn't blame you, if you decided not to take my crap anymore."

"I'd never do that." Max said firmly, taling his hand. "I'd never leave you. Even if I had to run away again, I'd find my way back to you eventually. …I've done that before," Max smiled.

Logan smiled back. "I know."

"You can't scare me away, Logan Cale. Besides, there are other ways to get satisfaction and even other ways to have children. Right? "

Logan drew her closer and kissed her softly. "Right. Thank you Max. You are amazing."

"All right. Now that that's clear, can we go grab something to eat? I'm starving!" Max said lightly, jumping from his lap. "I'm thinking of a nice Poulet chez Cale…and some chocolate cake for desert!"

Logan smiled and followed Max to the car.

TBC...asap


	10. Girls' Talk

Hello again and thanks to those of you who are still reading this. Thanks for the occasional reviews that are coming in to remind me to keep going on with the story. I don't have too much time to write now, but I'll try to post every once in a while, because I really want to finish this. So here's the next chapter. Please excuse the spelling and grammar mistakes. I hope you can still enjoy my writing despite of them.

Solanacea

Girls' Talk

Max settled on the ragged sofa with a huge bowl of popcorn in her lap. It felt so good to be back home. Sometimes she got tired of the penthouse with its perfect style and cleanliness. After all the time she had spent there lately she felt relieved to snuggle into the soft cushions on the small sofa at her crib. She was wearing sweat pants, an old faded blue tank top and her favorite woolen socks- the ones Kendra had made for her during one of her esotheric phases. Max wondered if her cold feet were something that came with the pregnancy just like her emotional outbreaks. She felt her stomach rumble. She shook her head to herself. Hungry again? Where did all the food go that she had had just a few hours ago? She had always had a high metabolism, but this was crazy! Right now she was eating for two grown-up X5 she concluded as she recalled her calorie input since she had left the hospital; On their way back they had picked upt some groceries and bach at the penthouse, Logan had cooked his famous dinner for her. They hadn't found the chocolate cake she'd been craving for, so instead, Logan had made a huge chocolate milkshake with two extra big scoops of ice cream for her. After dinner they had cuddled up in the living room for a while and had watched an old time romantic movie. In the middle of it, she had gotten up to make herself a sandwich, earning a disbelieving look from Logan, but he had said nothing. When the movie was over, Max had told Logan, that she was going to meet Original Cindy at her crib. Logan had been a little disappointed, apparently he'd had plans for the evening, but he had let her go, knowing that she needed the time with her friend. He had proposed to pick her up later and Max had agreed to give him a call, when she was ready.

Max dug her hand into the bowl of popcorn as her gaze wandered around the small room. Enjoying the familiar, relaxing atmosphere ,she sighed. Although she had spent most of her time at the penthouse for the past couple of months she had always been hesitant to completely move in with Logan. She new, she needed to be able to get away from time to time, to be by herself, do her own thing. Logan had accepted that until now. He had even offered to pay her "rent", but Max had refused. She had always cared for herself and she wasn't going to let Logan pay for her crib. She stuffed another handful of popcorn into her mouth, chewing it, thinking. Now he'd probably expect her to finally move in with him. Max frowned at the thought. As much as she loved Logan, she wasn't sure if she would be able to deal with that much closeness. Such a commitment…She looked at the ring on her finger, biting her lip. She had really liked the idea of getting married when he had asked her and she had been thrilled by the idea of having a child. But now, thinking about what came with it, she felt increasingly uncomfortable. ...Somehow this all came too fast. Ever since her escape from Manticore, she had been able to get up and leave, whenever she had felt the need to. She liked the feeling of being free and independent. After all she had fought hard for it. She didn't know if she was really willing to give it up again. What if her enemies came back chasing her. She would be tied to this place even more than before. She shivered. She'd have to take care of her own family! For Logan, she thought, it was totally different. Probably easier. He had experienced the love and the closeness of a family in the past. It was probably something he was looking for, a feeling he wanted to get back. She, in contrast, only felt trapped and insecure.

Original Cindy put down a cup of boiling hot chocolate in front of Max and took a deep sip from her beer. Then she sat down next to Max.

"Glad you're here, boo. You sure you don't want one?" she asked, talking about the beer.

"Sure, " Max answered. in fact, she would have loved to have a beer right now. But she couldn't do that. She was pregnant. She had to act responsible. She took a sip from her hot chocolate.

"So boo, what have you been up to? I was honestly thinking about calling the hospitals-even the morgue to find your whereabouts." OC asked."

"I've been gone for days before, why worry now?" Max asked, playing it down, though it was good to hear that her friend had been worried about her. That she cared.

"'Cause you'd never in the world leave your 'Baby' behind." Original Cindy had a point.

For a second Max was confused about the word 'Baby' but then she realised what Cindy was referring to. She sighed. Cindy was right. She never left without her motorcycle. " I spent the past couple of days with Logan." she said.

"I tried to call him, but he didn't answer his phone."

Max put down her cup and crossed her arms in front of her chest defensively. "We didn't care to answer the phone…"

"I see, got a lot of time to make up for, huh?" OC teased. "At least finally you admitted that you guys are crazy about each other. That stupid cat-and mouse-game you two had going on all that time, was really wrecking my nerves, ya know! Did you bang the gong all day long or did you even get out at times?"

Max punched OC in the side and frowned. "Cindy! We did not…can't you imagine there are other things to do than 'banging the gong'?"

"Like what?" OC grinned.

"Like talking. Like going out…" Max reached for her cup of chocolate displaying the ring on her finger long enough for OC to notice.

"What the hell is that?" she shouted and jumped from the sofa.

"What?" Max asked puzzled

"That!" OC said pointing to her hand, holding the cup.

Max caught herself and flashed a smile. "It's a ring," she said inocently.

"He gave you a ring?" OC dropped back onto the sofa curiously.

"He did." Max shrugged, beginning to like the little game.

OC's eyes grew wide. "Just like that?" she asked.

Max took another long sip from her drink, before she answered. "Not actually," she put on an indifferent face.

"Come on, Max! Spill it!" OC shouted, trying hard not to lose her cool temper.

"Well," Max took her time. "He took me out to this beautiful Italian restaurant, we had dinner-the best pasta I've had in my whole life, that is ...the second best after Logan's…, "

"Max!" Cindy urged her to go on.

"…it was the most romantic place I've ever been to, with violins playing and stuff. After dinner, Logan became all fidgety and nervous and I was wondering what was going on, but…"

"Max, please!"

"…and before I knew what was happening, he was on his knees asking me to marry him." Max finished, grinning widely.

OC sat there open-mouthed: "You're kidding me!"

"No, I swear!" Max said, raising two fingers.

A smile crept to Cindy's face as the news registered and she flung her arms around Max.

"Wow Max, that's awesome! Wow, I mean, who would've thought that my homegirl was gonna get herself hooked up with a man-and a rich and handsome at that-so soon!

She hugged Max again, but then she drew back and frowned.

"Wait a second; you did say yes, didn't you?"

Max smiled "Would have been kinda impolite to take the ring and say no, don't you think?" she asked jokingly.

The smile on OC's face came back. "Wow, boo….I…wow. Original Cindy is speechless."

Max turned serious again. "There's another thing."

OC stared at her curiously.

Max took a deep breath and dropped the bomb. "I'm gonna be a mommy," she said looking down at her feet.

Original Cindy just stared at her, almost choking on her beer. "What…? Does that mean you are...?"

"Mh hmm," Max said shily.

OC sat back on the sofa and stuffed popcorn into her mouth absently, trying to process what Max had just told her. "Wow, boo, you got the whole package, huh? And quick. I mean real quick!"

Max eyed Cindy from the side, not sure what to think of her reaction.

"You think I'm making a mistake?" she asked her friend insecurely.

Original Cindy, shook her head. "No, I…"

"But?"

"I …don't know boo. You tell me." She turned towards Max. "I'll have your back whatever you do Max. But are you sure you're ready for this?"

Max thought for a second, then shrugged. "I don't know, boo. On one hand it scares the shit out of me , but on the other hand it somehow feels like its the only right thing to do. I want to be with Logan and -even if this was not planned- I want this baby." she said, trying to push away all the conflicting thoughts.

OC finally grinned. "My boo's going to have her own little family!..So much for banging the gong, huh!"

Max puched her again, then hugged her friend. When they drew appart OC grabbed Max's hand. "Now let me see that ring!" "Wow, that guy has some taste-for a guy, ya know." She smiled.

"So he got down on his knees?"

Max nodded.

"That's classy. I would have guessed he'd go for the traditional stuff. But I didn't think he'd be so romantic…I.." she paused, when she saw the worried look on Max's face.

"Hey boo, what's up?"

Max frowned. "Isn't this supposed to be all wonderful and happy? So why is it I'm feeling so scared?"

OC took Max's hand in hers. "It's okay to be scared, I guess. After all you'll have a big responsibility."

"Exactly!" Max said.

"I'm not saying it'll be easy, but you're not alone, Max. You have Logan, all the guys at Jam pony, and Original Cindy of course! We'll work it out. "

Max nodded. "What if I bail out and run, as soon as things get tough?"

OC shook her head. "That won't happen. You love that guy and you'll love that child just as much. And even if at some point you should snap and panic, Original Cindy will drag your pregnant ass back where it belongs, hear me? "

Max nervously played with her ring. "O-kay."

Cindy emptied her beer and put the empty bottle on the table.

"What else?" she insisted.

Max hesitated for a while, searching fo the right words.

"Come on, I can see there's something else you're worried about," OC said, judging from the sour look on Max's face.

Max pulled her knees even closer to her body. She felt cold despite the mild outside temperature. She let out a deep sigh before she continued "I lied to you earlier on the phone….I wasn't just there to accompany Logan. I saw his doctor about my seizures. I had a real bad one last night-worse than anything I've ever had before. Scared the shit out of me…."

"Max, I'm sorry…"

Max waved her hand to indicate she wasn't finished yet. She inhaled deeply, before she continued. "Dr. Carr says the seizure could have harmed the baby, blocked the blood circulation or something." Max felt tears well up in her eyes again.

OC moved closer an drew Max towards her. "Hey boo, don't cry. Don't worry. I'm sure the baby will be all right, …with all those revved up genes of yours."

Max swallowed hard. Tears were flowing freely now. "Damn seizures..They, ...they could have killed my baby..." she sobbed.

OC hugged her tightly. " Max, don't say that. Your baby is gonna all right. Hey…Shhh."

"I just need to know, if the baby is okay." Max whispered, whiping the tears away with the back of her hand.

"I know,boo. I know."

When Max had calmed down a little OC stood up and got her a kleenex.

"Are you gonna see another doctor about that?" Cindy asked her friend when she came back.

Max nodded. "I have an appointment on Monday."

"Good….You okay now, boo?"

Max sniffled "Yeah, sorry. Just those freaking hormones."

"So," OC tried to lighten the mood. "How's rich boy doin? He must be real happy!"

To her dismay, her question caused another burst of tears.

"Ooops, sorry. Wrong question?"

Max reached for another kleenex and blew her nose noisily.

"Sorry Cindy. It's just…," she sighed again, before she continued. "I think he is happy somehow, but at the same time he is having a hard time. Those stem cell transfusions we did to repair the nerve cells in his spinal chord-they didn't work."

"But he was walking last time I saw him." OC interrupted.

"They don't work permanently. As soon as his immune system kicks in it attacks the new cells and within a short time he's back where he started."

Max buried her face in her hands. "That has happened in the past, but this time it is happening so quickly and he is refusing to carry on with the experiments, now that I'm pregnant."

"I see."

"He says he's allright. But I've been watching him lately. He's not dealing with it at all. You know he's got these stupid issues about being in the chair. I'm happy about the child, but at the same time I feel so bad, because that puts him back in the chair. Maybe for good this time."

"Max, I'm so sorry."

"It just hurts so much to see him like that! He tries to be cool, but I know hes hurting. If I could only do something, take away some of his pain!" she continued frustrated.

"Max, that's something that only he can do for himself. All you can do is be there for him. But it's on him to figure out his issues on his own. No one can do that for him."

"Yeah, I know," Max said reluctantly.

"He'll be fine, Max. Maybe it's good for him -for both of you- for this confusion to stop. No more false hope, no more setbacks. Maybe then he can work on accepting being in the chair."

Max forced a smile. "I guess you're right. Thank you."

"No problem, 'mommy'." OC smiled and patted her thigh. "You want some more chocolate?"

"No thank you. I don't wannal overdose. Besides, ...right now I'd rather go for some pickles."

Laughing Original Cindy went over to the fridge in search of something that might come close to that.

TBC... Please tell me what you think!


	11. Wish upon a star

A/N: Thank you guys for your encouraging reviews. You won't believe it but i already have the next chapter. Ejoy and please review again!

Wish upon an star

When Max opened the car door later, she was surprised to see Logan dressed in a warm pullover, an a wind jacket. She sat down and looked at him questioningly.

"What's going on? I thought I'm the one who is pregnant, cold feet and all…" she asked confused. "There are some warm clothes for you in the backseat." Logan said, started the engine and drove off.

"Come on Logan, what's this all about?" Max asked again.

"How was your evening with Cindy?" Logan ignored her question.

"Good." Max said hesitantly, frowning, not sure what to make of this.

"Where are we going. And why are you dressed like in winter?"

"It's a surprise…" Logan said, grinning back at her. "You'll see when we get there."

Max crossed her arms in front of her chest and pouted. "I don't like surprises." She grumbled.

"Patience in all things right!" Logan replied causing Max to role her eyes at him. "Says who!" she shot back. Logan ignored her comment and drove on through the dark streets.

Max frowned an stared out of the side window, until she began to realize where they were going.

"You're kidding!" she shouted suddenly, causing Logan to jump in his seat.

"What?" Logan asked innocently.

"This is the way to the Space Needle!"

"Bingo."

"What do you think we are doing here?"

"What do you usually do when you come here?" Logan asked back.

Max leaned her head to one side and looked at Logan perplexed.

"I sit up there and think."

"Well we can even TALK." Logan said dryly a small smile playing around his lips.

"WHAT?" Max shook her head. "What's wrong with you? You are afraid of heights. You…I mean…" she stuttered, trying to find the right words. "There are, I guess about 600 stairs up to the top. What the hell…" Logan pursed his lips an reached inside his coat. A second later a pair of keys and a key card were dangling in front of her eyes.

"There is an elevator all the way to the lower platform. From there it's only a couple of stairs to the upper platform. I thought we could compromise and stay there, safe behind the railings." He explained.

Max slumped back in her seat. "You're crazy."

"Since this place is so important to you, I thought I had to see it at least once. Maybe get my head wrapped around a couple of things. …If you don't mind, that is." He added, suddenly insecure if Max was even willing to share her refuge with him.

"I…don't mind. But how on earth did you get that key?"

Logan smiled "I have my ways," he said, earning another rolling of Max's eyes.

When they finally reached the base of the Space needle Logan got out and walked around the car, opening the door for Max. He reached to the backseat and got out the warm clothes for max, then held out his hand for her to get out.

Max grinned. "Thank you Sir." Together they made their way trough the outer doors until they had reached the elevator. This is where the key card was needed. Logan swiped the card and the elevator sprang to life. The couple moved inside and waited until the fast rise had stopped and the doors opened again. Even from the lower platform the view was breathtaking-at least Logan thought so. He felt a familiar fear creep up in his throat and kept close to the center to avoid having to look down. Max had already run over to the flight of stairs that wound around the tower all the way to the top and held out her hand to him. Hesitantly, Logan walked over. The stairs were made of metal and had a small pattern of wholes in them which didn't make them more trustworthy. He slowly took one step after another, trying to ignore the fact, that he was trembling. Max moved to his side at the outer railing and together they made their way up to the top. Logan had to pause twice as his legs were starting to give out on him again, but he insisted to go all the way to the top. When they had finally reached the upper platform, Logan was trembling all over. Max wasn't sure whether it was fear, the cold or the rebelling muscles in his leg. Probably a mixture of all. Logan took off his coat and spread it on the floor behind the railing before they sat down. Logan leaned his back against the center of the needle, while Max snuggled into his arms. They sat in silence for a while until Logan's breathing had calmed down and the trembling subsided. Each of them were lost in their own thoughts.

"You okay?" Max finally asked.

"Yes." Logan said , sounding just a little uncomfortable.

"Isn't that an amazing view."

"It is."

"It's the best place to think." Max said, watching the twinkling lights of the city. Logan turned his head up to the sky.

"I think Space needle is the right name. It's like you're floating in space. All these stars. You don't hardly see that many stars from down there. Too much fog, too many blinding lights."

Max followed Logan's gaze and pointed towards the brightest star she could see. "There's the polar star, right?"

"Right. I used to know a lot of stars and constellations in our sun system. I spent all my spare time at the planetarium when I was in second grade. I didn't care too much about school then. The stars were much more fascination. But I'm afraid I don't remember a lot."

"You can see a lot of falling stars up here. They say, if you make a wish on a falling star, it will come true." Max stated.

"Don't you believe so?" Logan asked.

"Do you?" asked back

He hesitated for a moment, then said firmly. "I do." He stared back into the sky looking for a … . They sat unmoving for a couple of minutes until Max shouted. "There! Did you see it?"

"Sure….Make a wish!" Max squeezed her eyes shut and tightened her grip of Logan's hand.

When she opened her eyes, she was smiling.

"What did you wish for?" Logan asked.

"Can't tell. Otherwise it won't come true." Logan smiled at her superstition, but she seemed to relax into his arms " Everything is gonna be okay." Max said with conviction.

They sat quiet for a while, enjoying the serene atmosphere. Suddenly Max jumped up, nearly bumping her head into Logan's chin.

"I know!" she shouted.

Logan changed to a more comfortable position as long as his arms were free. "What?"

"The baby's name!"

Logan raised his eyebrows.

"You know already? We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl."

"It's gonna be a girl. It has to be!" Max said excitedly.

Logan looked at her questioningly and reached for her hand in order to make her sit down again. Her jumping around didn't make him feel comfortable. Anyway; this had to be a girl's thing. How could anyone feel the gender of her baby? They had just learned about the pregnancy-how could max know a name for HER already?

"How on earth can you …?"

"I was just thinking about baby names." Max interrupted him. "It would have to be something nice, something meaningful. Nothing like "Max". Something that sounds…beautiful, like our baby is going to be." She explained excitedly. She sat back down and wrapped Logan's arms around her body.

"Will you tell me what it is?" Logan asked.

Max took a deep breath before she spoke, turned her head around, so her face was very close to his and said full of conviction. "Stella!"

Logan smiled. "Stella," he repeated, listening to the sound of it again. "That's Italian for star, right?"

"Yes!" Max nodded. "Stella…little star." She instinctly started to pat her still flat belly.

Logan moved his hand over hers and kissed the top of her head tenderly.

"Hey baby Stella, what do you think about your name?" he asked, talking to Max's belly.

"I think she likes it." Max said, feeling all the tension fade away.


End file.
